Girls gone wilder?

In case you missed the story with all the last minute Christmas rush, 22 year-old Miss Nevada was stripped of her title for some interesting pictures that cropped up on the Internet this past week. Pictures, I should note that were taken five years ago when she was 17 years old. I won’t indulge you in the intimate details, but apparently, exposing your breasts and playing tonsil hockey with another girl are not acceptable behaviors for Miss USA state representatives. As you may well know, this comes on the heels of news that Donald Trump (owner of the Miss USA pageant) will allow the reigning Miss USA, Tara Conner to keep her crown, in spite of the rumors circulating that she has over-indulged herself with a bit too much NYC night life (translation: drugs, sex, and rock and roll). Rumors, mind you, that she partied it up with Miss Teen USA, who last I checked, is too young to party it up. Apparently, MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) agrees and has cut ties with Miss Teen USA as a spokesperson for the dangers of underage drinking. Shame on her for the example she has set to our youth and the mockery she has made of the loss of life these dear mothers have incurred. And shame on Miss USA for leading her astray. Do us a favor, girls, and turn in your tarnished crowns. It’s time to grow up. You agreed to be role models and you have failed our daughters. In fact, you are a joke to them, which I suppose, is not a bad thing.

Ah, but I digress. The purpose of this virtue alert is to encourage you (mom, dad, youth worker) to use the recent news accounts as teachable moments to our digital-camera-obsessed-teenage-girls. Don’t pass up this prime opportunity to point out these facts:

1) Pictures taken YEARS AGO can ruin your reputation, YEARS LATER. For Miss Nevada, the pics are here to stay, forever and ever until death she does part. Her children and grandchildren will have documented proof of her legacy. (Ewww…..) Oh, and this is also a good time to remind them that even pictures that are deleted can be accessed for years to come. They never really go away.

2) Alcohol + Digital Cameras + Low Self-Esteem = Girls making stupid mistakes they will regret for a lifetime.

3) Girls who flash their breasts and make out with other girls may be told they are “hot” by the guys, but in reality, they are labeled “sluts” by the majority of the public.

4) You are who you hang out with. If you party hard, chances are good it will be caught on camera and eventually make its way to the Internet. The truth is, you have little control over the pictures others take with their digital cameras and camera phones. And you have little control over where the pictures will be uploaded, now or years later.

After pointing out the above facts to your girls, remind them of Proverbs 31:10, which says, “Who can find a virtuous woman? Her price is far above rubies.” A virtuous woman is clearly, a rarity in todays world. Verse 30 goes on to reveal the stand-the-test-of-time beauty secret: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” In the end, nice girls finish first. They always have and they always will. My advice to Ex-Miss Nevada, Miss USA, and Miss Teen USA: "Repent! Put your trust in Christ. You need a role model and most importantly, you need a Savior. Yes, God loves you and forgives you, but He is to be awed, revered, and feared. Someday, you will stand before Him and have to give an account for your lives. With Christ, it’s never too late to begin again. Go for lasting crowns--those awarded in Heaven to a faithful few."

And in the end, that is good advice for us all. As a Pastor/friend of mine once said, “We are all one step away from being tomorrow’s headlines.” Yes, truly, you are who you hang out with. Who are you hanging out with? My New Year's resolution is to hang out more with the one who came that I "might have life and have it more abundantly." (John 10:10b) May I live a life that is pleasing to Him and brings glory to His name.

Let me know what you think with our new comment feature! Also, stay tuned for my next Virtue Alert: 2006…A Year in Revue! I will be giving out a few more virtue citations and offering more solutions to encourage our girls to be godly in an ungodly world. Until then, Merry Christmas to you and your family!

Where is Santa when you need him?

It seems that every Christmas season some occurrence arrives right on cue in mid-December to distract me from the real reason for the season. This year it happens to be the shortage of Nintendo Wii game systems. A game system, mind you, that my boys assure me is “way better” than the other katrillion game systems that currently litter our game room floor. And thus, the reason it holds the #1 spot on their Christmas list. Before I could finish my speech about the annoyance of having to buy new games for a new system, they shot me down with the news that this system plays all of the old games. Of course, this assumes they would be content with playing their old games on it. Yeah, right. And it also assumes I can find a system to buy in the first place.

I knew it was going to be bad when I googled the phone numbers of every store in the city of Austin that offered any hope of receiving the systems in time for Christmas and began dialing the numbers. The only shred of hope I was given during my calling campaign was from a young man who worked in a mall store who barely sounded old enough to shave. He told me that a UPS shipment was expected in the next several hours and there might (key word, here) be a few (another key word) Nintendo Wii systems on the truck. Any glimmer of hope I had with this announcement was dashed when he followed with the news that, “Uh yeah, you might wanta come now cuz there’s like uh, this line forming out the door already.”

Normally, I like a challenge. Not to brag here, but back in the knock-your-neighbor-flat-to-get-the-prized-Beanie-Baby days, I was the champion. Fortunately, I found a better tactic than mowing over fellow shoppers. I sleuthed hospital and hotel gift shops, thus awarding me on occasion, the mother lode-- the incredibly hard-to-find RETIRED beanie babies. The real prize was the eardrum-shattering squeals of delight from my little munchkins that I was “the best mom EVER.” Now, if you are rolling your eyes and thinking that I had way too much time on my hands, you are absolutely right. It was then that God probably looked down from His throne and said something to the effect of, “Hmmm…looks like Vicki needs more important things to do. Things that will perhaps stimulate her brain and ensure that it never atrophies to this point again.” And shortly thereafter, I was awarded my first book contract and a deadline to go along with it. Which thus, brings me back to my current dilemma. I don’t have time to jump in my car and race 12 miles over to the mall to stand in line behind people who are looking to get their hands on a system that they will likely list for three times its value on Ebay later that day. Besides, I have a life now, thank you very much. Not to mention, a book deadline weighing heavy on me—a book, mind you, that I am writing to parents that addresses the topic of our children’s wired worlds. Hmmm, I see a bit of irony here, don't you?

Which brings me to this nail-biting conclusion. Unless a Nintendo Wii literally falls from the sky and lands under my Christmas tree, my boys will have to do without. AND THAT IS OKAY because Christmas is about so much more than $250 game systems that require $40 controllers and $80 memory cards that three years from now will sell for $60. Don’t shed any tears for my boys. They listed a few other items on their lists that I was able to locate and the little lads will no doubt, have a Merry Christmas. Now, I must run—I’m bidding on a pair of chestnut brown UGG boots for my daughter on Ebay and the auction is up in 15 minutes. They are new but don’t come with the box so I can hopefully, save half by forgoing a box that I would end up throwing away, anyway. And if I lose the auction, I’m heading to Walmart to get her a pair of those Dearfoam slippers for $10—they look just the same, if you ask me. Oh, and let me know if you need any stocking stuffers. I am more than willing to part with some of my prized Beanie Babies. I just need a little notice so I can dig them out of the dog’s bed. My Yorkie, Lexie, is quite fond of them.

Life Lessons from Barbie and Ken

February 12, 2004, marked a very sad day for Barbie lovers, young and old. Just two days before Valentine’s Day, a press release was made stating that after 43 blissful years as America’s most famous plastic couple, Barbie and Ken were splitting up. Barbie’s Business Manager (yes, you heard me—she has a Business Manager) announced, “They feel it’s time to spend quality time—apart,” said Russell Arons, vice-president of marketing for Mattel. Considering that three Barbie dolls are sold every second around the world, it must have come as a blow to many girls, who at some point, had marched their Barbies down a pretend aisle dressed in their lacy bridal gowns and veils to say their “I do’s” to their beloved Kens. I can still recall to this day, my best friend and I giggling at that magical moment when we would make Barbie and Ken kiss to seal the deal.

What is this world coming to when Barbie and Ken split? Barbie and Ken were supposed to be 2-gether 4-ever, period, end of sentence. By the end of the day, rumors were flying as to the real reason behind the couple’s decision to take their relationship to Splitsville. One rumor had it that Barbie’s career had gotten in the way. Let’s face it; the woman has had over 90 careers, including a run for the White House. That many career changes can definitely take a toll on a marriage. Another rumor had it that Barbie now has her eye on a younger, hipper, Aussie surfer dude named Blaine. Chalk it up to the standard fashion doll midlife crisis. Maybe our first clue should have been when she got the pink Corvette. Or maybe the real reason behind this pre-manufactured publicity stunt was that Mattel wanted to sell more dolls and knew that in order to do so, they would have to mold Barbie to fit the anti-marriage, pro-hook-up culture of today. While I don’t want to take the Barbie break-up charade too far, I do find it sad that the times are such that Mattel felt it would boost sells if Barbie wasn’t tied down in a fuddy-duddy, boring, long-term relationship to the same guy. In order for Barbie to fit into the times, Mattel announced that she had to be “single and available.”

When I was a little girl, my friends and I would spend long hours preparing our Barbies for the ball that was to happen that evening. Every weekend was homecoming weekend in Barbie land. Barbie and her numerous clones would gather together at my best friend’s Barbie mansion (I only had the pop-up camper) and spend the entire day getting ready for their dates. The troop of Kens would arrive on time in a convoy of sports cars and jeeps, walk to the door, ring the doorbell, and gasp on cue when our Barbies descended the staircase. They would escort our dolls to their cars and even open their car doors! After an evening of dancing in the arms of our Kens (no grinding allowed—we didn’t even know such a thing existed), our Barbies were escorted home, walked to the door and some, but not all, received a light kiss on the cheek. Once inside, the slumber party began and our Barbies stayed up giggling the night away over miniature fake popcorn and two liter cokes. It wasn’t unusual for a wedding or two to follow the next day. After a proper proposal, we would all join in on a chorus “dum, dum, da dum” as the lucky doll made her way down the aisle to meet her groom. It was just understood that someday, we were all waiting for a turn to walk down that aisle—not just in Barbie land, but in real life.

Today’s Barbies need not stock their closets of their Malibu beach houses or Barbie mansions with extravagant ball gowns, boas, and stilettos. Miniature hooker-wear is the fashion staple of the new, chic, and ever-so-trendy Barbies of today. Lucky for Ken and Blaine, they no longer have to go to the trouble of asking Barbie out on a real date. Barbie doesn’t date anymore and she sure doesn’t sit around dreaming about such silly things as marriage. My critics would say, “Look, Barbie and Ken grew apart. Barbie woke up one morning, like countless other women, and realized that she and Ken had absolutely nothing in common anymore. They had simply, grown out of love.” I can certainly understand their sentiments. In fact, I never really thought Barbie and Ken were much of a match in the first place. Coming from Texas, Ken was always a little too mamby-pamby metro for my taste. Now, that GI Joe—he was a real man. But, for whatever reasons, Barbie had chosen Ken to be her life-long love. It was her storybook romance, not mine.

In the end, Barbie, like countless others, defined love as a feeling, rather than a commitment. Not that they hadn’t survived their share of tough times. They stuck it out through her numerous career changes including a military medic in Desert Storm, an astronaut, a paleontologist, an Olympic athlete, a fashion model, and a rock star. Ken endured Barbie’s 43 pets, including 21 dogs, 12 horses, 3 ponies, 6 cats, a parrot, a chimpanzee, a panda, a lion cub, a giraffe and a zebra. They even survived the countless questions that emerged over the years about Ken’s sexuality. When it was all said and done, the wonder couple would join the ranks of the rest of the “wonder couples” of the world: the J-Lo’s and Bennifers; the Brad and Jennifers. When the going got tough, the couple would um, just split, because that’s what couples do today.

I can’t help but wonder if girls today, deep down inside, would choose to return to the simpler days of innocence and purity if given the opportunity. You know, the days where girls dreamt about meeting that one special guy who would sweep them off their feet, ask them out on dates, pay their way, court them, woo them, and eventually, get on one knee and propose with a ring and a dozen roses. Ah, but who am I fooling? Such dreams are silly when you can instead, hook-up for the night with no strings attached and then move onto another Ken, or Blaine, or even Barbie for that matter. Next thing you know, Mattel will introduce Party Barbie with an optional fold-up neighborhood pub to set the stage for her future boy toy pick-ups. I wouldn’t be surprised to find it stocked with miniature dartboards, frosted mugs of beer, and a condom dispenser in the bathroom. By then, Surfer Blaine will have morphed into Bartender Blaine and Party Barbie and Hook-up Midge, dressed in their midriff-baring tight tees and micro minis, will have their eyes on other boys at the bar.

We must catch up with the times and the times have declared that “happily ever after,” is about living for the moment and above all, living for self. Funny, but the hook-up culture never highlights the moments after a hook-up has occurred. They never talk about the emptiness that most girls feel after exercising their “sexual freedom.” They never talk about the “walk of shame,” common on many large college campuses. Girls who casually hook-up can be found walking back to their dorms, alone, in the middle of the night—head’s down, not wanting to be recognized. One can only imagine what they are thinking on their long walk home. I bet a good many of them would give anything to go back to their more innocent days of playing Barbie. Back to the days when Barbie’s biggest worry was over what to wear to the ball—not what to wear, or do, to get Ken or Blaine to look her way, pursue her, and love her, even if it was just for one night. If you ask me, that’s one warped version of “happily ever after.” In fact, it makes me want to head up to the attic, brush the dust off my 15 year-old daughter’s trunk of Barbies, and beg her to play just one more time.