You and Your Girl: Birmingham, Alabama!

Wow! The You and Your Girl event in Birmingham was amazing! Huffman Baptist Church was packed full of 1000+ moms and precious girls and boy, did we have fun! When you see moms and girls of all ages coming together under one roof for the purpose of counteracting the negative messages of the culture, you know there is hope! As promised, below you will find a copy of the "Crowd or Cross" portion of my opening message. And if you're reading this and you weren't able to attend this event, be sure to check out our remaining 2007 events or email our office if you would like more information about bringing an event to your area in 2008.

Crowd or Cross?
By: Vicki Courtney

When it comes to making money, the crowd says: “Money makes the world go 'round!”
The cross says: It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!” (Matt. 19:24)

When it comes to possessions, the crowd says: “He who has the most toys wins.”
The cross says: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.” (Matt. 6:19)

When it comes to illegally downloading music, the crowd says: “Who cares?! The record artists make enough money as it is.”
The cross says: Thou shalt not steal. (Lev. 19:11; Rom. 13:9)

When it comes to dressing immodestly, the crowd says: “If you’ve got it, flaunt it!”
The cross says: I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety… (1 Tim. 2:9)

When it comes to viewing porn, the crowd says: “Hey, pretty much everybody does it.”
The cross says: But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality. (Eph. 5:3)

When it comes to inappropriate talk, the crowd says: “We're just joking around!”
The cross says: Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. (Eph. 5:4)

When it comes to sex outside of marriage, the crowd says: “Just do it!”
The cross says: Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. (Heb. 13:4)

When it comes to casual hook-ups, the crowd says: “What’s the big deal?
The cross says: Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. (Prov. 31:10)

When it comes to drinking, the crowd says: “everyone does it!”
The cross says: Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you. (Eph. 5:18)

When it comes to homosexuality, the crowd says: “It's a genetic thing! They can’t help it!”
The cross says: And the men, instead of having normal sexual relationships with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men…(Rom. 1:27)

When it comes to unplanned pregnancies, the crowd says: “Terminate it! It’s just a blob of tissue.”
The cross says: For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb….your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:13, 16)

When it comes to self-esteem, the crowd says: “Worth equals what you look like.”
The cross says: Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart. (1 Sam. 16:7)

When comes to sharing your faith, the crowd says: “Don’t! You might offend someone!”
The cross says: Go and make disciples of all nations. (Matt. 28:19)

When it comes to heaven, the crowd says: “No worries! As long as you’re a good person, you’re in!”
The cross says: The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose the easy way. But the gateway to life is small, and the road is narrow, and only a few ever find it. (Matt. 7:13)

When it comes to other faiths, the crowd says: “Many paths lead to the same God.”
The cross says: I am the way and the truth and the life and no one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6)

Excuse me, Mr. Hip-Hop artist, my daughter is not a sl*t!

When I was growing up, the word “slut” was whispered under one’s breath and used sparingly. In fact, I can only recall a handful of girls who earned the label in my large high school of over 2000 students. If you were labeled a “slut,” your reputation was sealed. You were the brunt of boys' locker room talk and an instant outcast among the girls. The only thing missing was the scarlet letter.

Today, the word is commonplace in every teen’s vocabulary. In the process of researching for my new book, “Logged On and Tuned Out,” I saw the word posted everywhere on girls’ pages. Here are some actual examples:

“Hannah, you look like such a slut in this picture!”
“Call me when you get home, slut!”
“Hey slut, when are you back from vacation?”

Maybe I’m just turning into an old fuddy-dud, but for the life of me, I don’t get it. Here we are, three decades post the women’s movement, and it’s become a compliment to be called a “slut.” Good girls are called sluts. Bad girls are called sluts. Church girls are called sluts. If your daughter is in high school or older, chances are, she's been called a slut. And unless you step in and do something about it, she will probably just smile and shrug it off as a term of endearment.

Seriously, it’s hard for me to even type the word—it was so taboo in my generation. Which begs the question: How did such a word become so acceptable? Hmmm…let’s see. Could it be the hip-hop/rap culture that cranks out song after song depicting women as “ho’s” whose lifelong aspiration is to serve their “pimps?” I did a little research on the Billboard Top 100 songs over the past twenty years and my findings for the most part, directly link the onset of the hip-hop/rap genre with the verbal degradation of young women.

The rating system for music began in 1985 which labeled certain songs as "explicit." From 1987-1994, there were on average 1-3 songs in the Top 100 with explicit ratings each year. From 1995-2000, there were on average 4-11 songs in the Top 100 with explicit ratings each year. From 2001-2004, it jumped to 23-32 songs in the Top 100 with explicit ratings. Approximately, one in three songs in the Top 100 are explicit. Of the 32 songs with an "explicit" rating in 2004, 27 were in the hip-hop/rap genre. These are the songs being played over and over again on the pop radio stations, Ipods, and at school dances. And we wonder why it’s become acceptable and even in vogue to be called a “slut.”

While many argue that this is an acceptable form of artistic expression among those in the African American community, I beg to differ. And the impact has been felt across all racial lines. African American or not, what self-respecting woman would condone such a verbal assault? This very issue has been brought into the limelight with the unfortunate Don Imus scandal. His comments were unacceptable and no doubt, he should receive disciplinary action. But let's make sure it doesn't stop there. Just last week, I read a news account of decision by Michael V. Roberts Sr., CEO of Roberts Broadcasting Company to refuse airtime to hip-hop artists who degrade women in their lyrics. Here is his statement:

"I am announcing, effective immediately, that music degrading women and other members of our community will no longer be played… We're going to ban them altogether, which is a hard move for a hip-hop station.”

Good for you, Mr. Roberts. As the mother of a daughter and an advocate for young women across this country, I applaud your actions. I pray that others in the industry will follow your lead. In the meantime, parents need to do their part by closing their wallets to these filth purveyors and putting pressure on those in the industry to do likewise. American Family Association is gathering names for a petition they are submitting to radio station executives across the country. Click here to sign the petition

In the meantime, we need to take advantage of this teachable moment and broach this topic with our daughters and sons. Ephesians 5:3-4 says, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving." Call it a hunch, but I feel pretty certain that words like "slut," "ho," and "hooker" would fall into that category.

What were you doing on August 23, 1985?

By: Vicki Courtney

When I woke up this morning, I was especially mindful that it was Good Friday. A day that symbolizes Jesus' crucifixion for the sins of mankind. I didn't want today to turn into just any other Friday and I told God that in my morning prayer time. As I was reflecting on what Easter means to me, God immediately brought me back to Labor Day weekend in 1985. I was an agnostic college student at the time and an old boyfriend invited me to attend a Christian event sponsored by Hyde Park Baptist Church (Austin). I said "yes" and the rest is history. On Friday evening, August 23, 1985, I listened as a band member shared his story of trying to fill his life with everything the world has to offer only to come up empty in the end. You know, the old "God-shaped vacuum" analogy. As he described his new life in Christ, I sensed a sincere joy. And then worship leader came up to lead us in a few choruses of "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus." A few choruses turned into about 7-8 because the worship leader said, "There is someone else in this room who needs the forgiveness of Christ." A dead give-away that this event was sponsored by a Southern Baptist Church. They just keep on singing until everyone in the room is saved. And thank goodness for that! I was the "someone else" he was referring to, so I bowed my head and said a silent prayer to this Jesus. After 21 years of being my own god, I was ready for a change. Not to mention, I was in desperate need of this forgiveness the band member had talked about that changed his own life. I don't have room to post my sin list, but suffice it to say, it was a long one. I was empty and I wanted this Jesus to come and fill the "God-shaped vacuum" in my heart. I wanted what these people had. Truly, my life has never been the same.

God reminded me this morning of that day. He also reminded me that the first Bible verse I ever memorized was 2 Corinthians 5:17. It says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" Friday, August 23, 1985 was the last day of my old life. I was able to dig up the original flier for that life-changing event in 1985, as well as a picture of me on the first day of my new life in Christ.



Gotta love those short shorts on those guys! I'm the one in the pink polo sitting on the shoulders of ex-boyfriend, Ken. In addition to meeting Christ at the event, I also met my husband--he is the handsome guy to the left of me. Wow, is God good or what? Talk about new life! And that my friends, is what Easter means to me. May He continue to allow me the awesome privilege of passing on His life-changing Good News. Our Savior has risen!

From tween to teen...and the awkward in between

By: Vicki Courtney

I want you to imagine a sea of hundreds of girls, ages 8-12, singing at the top of their lungs to “Every Move I Make” at our latest Between event in Austin this past Saturday. Talk about heartwarming! I don’t normally speak at our younger events and due to my own crazy schedule over the past several years, it had been a good while since I had even observed an event. But alas, the speakers we normally call on to keynote our younger events were not available and since the event was in my hometown of Austin, I agreed to do it. Now, don't get me wrong--it's not that I didn't want to do it. My niche is just more of the teen girl and older crowd and I feel there are far more qualified speakers for these tween girls. Since my son was home for college on his Spring Break, I was only scheduled through the morning session. However, in the three short hours I was there, God used these precious girls and their moms to remind me of why I do what I do. Not to mention, I was overwhelmed with the magnitude of the responsibility Virtuous Reality has been given in reaching our girls with the message of godly virtue.

I was particularly struck by how very young and little these girls are. Now, remember, my daughter is a junior in high school, so I’m nearing the time where she will soon fly the nest. Seeing these girls reminded me of my own daughter at that age. While listening to them sing in worship, I had a flashback of Paige and several of her friends posing for a picture at the first ever Yada Yada event back in January, 2002. They were proudly holding their Bibles close to their chests, wearing matching camo shirts emblazoned with 2 Tim. 2:4, and saluting the camera after being challenged in the closing message to be “soldiers for Christ.” They were in 6th grade and only 11-12 years old at the time. They were little girls with little girl bodies, little girl innocence, and a little girl zeal for life. Now these same girls are 17 years old and have blossomed into young women. Five years into the journey, each has experienced the sobering reality of how very difficult it is to be a solder for Christ in the real world of middle school and high school.

As I stood on the front row and watched these precious little girls dancing uninhibited in front of the stage, I was literally moved to tears. They love Jesus and are proud to shout it from the rooftops! In doing events for middle and high school girls, I have witnessed firsthand the sharp contrast between a "tween" girl and a "teen" girl. I couldn’t help but grab my heart with the sobering thought that their boldness and public enthusiasm for the Lord would likely wane as they rounded the corner of adolescence. I know you mothers of younger girls don’t want to hear that, but it’s a reality. I watched it happen with my own daughter. She loves Jesus, but I can almost assure you that she doesn’t have any pictures in her Facebook album of her and her friends posing as soldiers for Christ in high school. Which is not to say she has gone awol (absent without leave). The difference between today and five years ago is that she has now seen the battle. She has been in the battle. She has witnessed many of her comrades succumb to the battle and even some, defect to the other side and adopt the world's ways. The battle has left her shaken, shell-shocked, and at times, silent. One year shy of graduation, she has witnessed plenty of casualties among those who have chosen to live for the world and its pagan pleasures. She is known for being a "good girl," but hesitant to share why she chooses to "be good." Even though she is often a silent witness, I know she is drawing from the reserves of her earlier years...like that Yada Yada event back in 2002.

As I listened to the sweet chorus of little girl voices singing “Every move I make, I make in You…You are my way Jesus,” I felt a sudden urge to, as we say in Texas, “Katy, bar the door” and just keep on singing for the next five years. I desperately wanted to protect them from the harm of the outside world. And it dawned on me that what I was feeling, was what every mother feels for her children as they near adolescence. Yet, we do them a disservice if we hover over them for 18 years all the while denying there is a battle. Our call is to equip them to live in the world without becoming of the world and in doing so, we must help clothe them with the full armor of God. (Eph. 6:11-18)

If I could encourage mothers with younger children, I would remind you of the window of opportunity you have to impact your child’s faith in the years prior to adolescence. Disciple your children. Pray with them and teach them to pray. Attend church faithfully--don’t miss a Sunday unless you’re on your deathbed. Have family devotionals. Expose them to Christian music. Buy them Christian books. Send them to Christian camps, events, and on mission trips. Be picky about what they are exposed to and who they hang out with. And along the way, take advantage of teachable moments while they are still teachable. Most importantly, never cease praying for your children. My biggest prayer for my children has been that they would “claim Christ for their very own.” As my children enter their young adulthood years, I am slowly but surely, witnessing the fruit of that prayer as it comes to fruition. The childlike boldness is returning. They are finding their voices. They are learning to stand on their own. They are reporting for duty.



And as Christ’s soldier, do not let yourself become tied up in the affairs of this life, for then you cannot satisfy the one who has enlisted you in his army. (2 Tim. 2:4)

Meet Scout—The Courtney family's newest addition!

Okay, now I realize that this post is going to expose me for the neurotic dog lover that I am, but I really don’t care. I’m just too old to care. I have often joked that my 5 lb. Yorkie, Lexie Grace, is the 4th child my husband refused to have. That said, I guess you could consider this a birth announcement of sorts: Lexie has a brother. Scout is 4 months old and a whopping two pound ball of fluff. I’m still not quite sure how the kids and I managed to talk my husband into another dog. Maybe it was my daughter Paige’s tearful plea that sounded something like this: “Dad, you know you’re going to eventually give in and I’m going to be so mad if you get the puppy after I’ve left for college in a year and I don’t get a chance to bond with it.” Apparently, it did the trick and within 48 hours we were cleaning up little pee-pee puddles and going berserk at the local Petco. Suffice it to say that in the week and half we’ve had the little fellow, the entire family is smitten, including dear old Dad. Scout answers to "Scout," "my boy Scout," and "Scout, Scout, let it all out" (sung to the tune of "Shout" by the once popular in the 80's band, Tears for Fears).

And while I’m bragging on the new baby, let me also confess that I broke down and bought one of those purse-looking carriers for him. I know, I know. I promise this is where the similarities with Paris Hilton end. Okay, except for a few shirts that Lexie has acquired over the years—but no shoes! I promise, I won’t break down and get the shoes.

Feel free to comment and please, tell me all about your canine children!