The next time your kids say you're old...

While researching for the book I'm currently writing (5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter), I stumbled upon some VERY interesting information regarding the aging process. If you're young, read it and weep. If you're old and your kids are kind enough to remind you on a daily basis, read it and weep, and then torment your kids with the information! According to an article on CNN.com, there are six stages of life: Infancy, Childhood, Adolescence, Young Adulthood, Middle Adulthood, and Senior Adulthood.

The description of "Young Adulthood" is what caught me by surprise. Here is what it says:

"A person reaches physical maturity and stops growing around age 18. As early as age 20, people may notice the beginning signs of aging; fine wrinkles, thinning skin, loss of firmness in hands and neck, graying hair, hair loss and thinning nails. At age 30, the human body's major organs begin to decline."

So, the other day when my 17 year-old daughter and 14 year-old son made a comment about some straggly gray hairs on my head, I smiled this really evil smile and said, "Well darlin's, your turn is a-comin' and it may be sooner than you think." I then seized the opportunity to inform them that their bodies may show signs of aging in their 20's and their organs will begin shutting down around 30. Okay, so maybe "shutting down" is a bit harsh, but I was trying to make a point. Apparently, they missed the point because my son replied, "Well duh. Everyone knows 30 is old." Oh my.

Called to be a speaker? Read this first!

This post was inspired by a laugh-out-loud post by Beth Moore called He Called it Spittle. Beth, basically comes clean on some embarrassing moments she has encountered in her public speaking journey, including the latest episode of "spittle" forming in the side of her mouth during a live taping for her Esther study. I was screaming "Amen!" while reading her post for keepin' it real and allowing her readers a true behind-the-scenes look at some of the perils of public speaking. I am convinced that you absolutely cannot do what we do unless you learn to laugh at yourself somewhere along the way. The sooner, the better. And by laugh, I mean hysterical, gut-busting, tears-streaming-down-your-face laughter.

So to piggy-back Beth's most embarrassing moments from the platform, allow me to add a few of my own:

I am instantly reminded of a youth event I did years ago. It goes without saying that teens are one of the scariest audiences to speak to because anyone who is 10 years or more their senior, is instantly cast into the "old fart" category. All that to say, the "cool factor" is magnified when speaking to teens. I usually let my daughter dress me for such occasions and on this particular engagement, I was sporting a cute pair of Banana Republic jeans and a simple button-down shirt. My daughter assured me that the ensemble screamed, "Hey, I'm not trying to look your age, but I'm not your Grandma's age, either!" I just may have pulled the cool factor off had it not been for the fact that while getting mic'ed in the sound booth, I removed a large piece of silver duct tape from the mic wire (used to hold it in place under your shirt) and placed it temporarily on the right front leg of my jeans. Yeah, you got it. I forgot about it and taught my whole message with a giant silver rectangle plastered on the front of my oh, so cool jeans. After the message, a couple of girls came up and said, "We were just like, wondering what like, the tape was all about." When I looked down and realized it was there, all I could think of to say (with a smile) was, "It's about me, like, being a total dork." "Oh, cool!" was there kind response.

And then there was the time I was due to speak to over a thousand women and I wore this adorable wrap around blouse that I had found the week before on the sales rack at Ann Taylor. I had taken it to the dry cleaners, so it would be starched and wrinkle-free for the occasion. The event began with worship and I was on the front row in my own little world just a-worshippin' away. I raised my hands in the air and strangely, felt a breeze under my arms. My cute little blouse had ripped under both arms! Now, we're talking big rips here, the size of the Grand Canyon. I must have looked like a robot while giving that message with my arms glued to my side from armpit to elbow.

Oh, and let's not forget the Your Girl Bible study DVD taping where my body decided to go through a second wave of puberty the night before and I woke up the morning of the taping with a zit the size of Mt. Everest on my left cheek. Yes, I know I write and teach on the dangers of defining your worth based on appearance, but C'mon! Trust me, this thing was so big, you wouldn't have heard a word I said--you would all be wondering what that thing on my face was. When I sat down in the chair for make-up, the make-up artist took one look at my face and said, "Oh my. Let's see what we can do about your little friend, here." Hah, did she say, "little?" Fortunately, she was able to work her magic, thus making her my new bff for life.

There is also the problem of forgetting to go to the restroom before you speak and then finishing off a bottle of water before stepping up onto the platform. Seriously, you only make that mistake once. I learned this lesson at a large event hosted by a Baptist church. Rather than appear to be dancing on the platform, I wrapped up the message ten minutes early and made my get-away. What they don't know won't hurt them and besides, who doesn't like a little extra time to shop in the bookstore?

And speaking of potty breaks. One speaker friend of mine who shall go unnamed, shared a story years ago that has scarred me for life. She experienced the horror of having the sound man accidentally turn on her mic while she was in the bathroom. Women had gathered in the sanctuary and were treated to a choir of flushing toilets with my friend in the background bantering back in forth with a woman in the neighboring stall. Suffice it to say, I am meticulous about turning off my mic before and after my messages!

Perhaps, my all-time favorite embarrassing moment came while doing a live radio interview. I was in my office, sitting at my desk with my notes spread out in front of me. About half way through the interview, I leaned back in my office chair, only to have it keep on leaning. A screw must have come loose and the whole chair collapsed into a heap on the floor. The host, not knowing what the ruckus was all about, played it off as a technical problem and kept going. I wish you could have seen me, crawling on all fours to an open space on my carpet while squeezing the phone to my ear and holding the base of the phone with my other hand. I couldn't reach my notes on the desk, so I had to wing the interview from that moment on. Who knew this job could be so hazardous?

Anyway, less anyone think this calling is glamorous, I wanted to set the record straight. I echo the sentiments of my sweet sister, Beth when she said, "We are utterly dependent on God to pull it off. Keep teaching me. Keep helping me. Keep humbling me." Amen, my sister, amen. Spittle or not, you are adorable.

Blast from the past: October, '07

My 17 year-old daughter is currently obsessed with this song. Not that I can blame her! I saw MJ perform live to a sold-out crowd at the Texas Stadium in 1984. It was an unbelievable show and a highlight was seeing him moonwalk across the stage.

Hearing this song gave me an instant flashback to cruising around with my friends on the weekends in my sophomore year of high school. There were about 5-6 of us packed into my friend's black Buick Regal--windows down, singing at the top of our lungs. Oh yeah, and there was dancing--LOTS of dancing.

Where were you when this song played?

Pep rally, Homecoming, You and Your Girl event, etc...

I could have sworn the Orthopedic instructed her not to go up in any stunts or fly...

Okay, this has to be a classic. Notice the balled up fist!

Paige and her date, cousin Jennifer





Wow, I am loving this morning. I am sitting in my favorite writing chair with the windows open, so that I can hear the steady downfall of rain and feel the cool breeze from the cold front that blew in last night. Every so often, I am serenaded by my neighbor's wind chimes. My coffee cup is to my right, my Bible is to my left, and my ever-faithful Yorkies stand watch at my feet. Life is as it should be. Well, except for the part where the dogs rush to the open window next to my chair every few seconds to bark at each and every acorn that falls on the back deck. Sigh. And no, in case you are wondering, they are not wearing clothes like in my profile picture. I am not that neurotic...at least, not yet. However, Paige and I are thinking of dressing them up for Halloween since we know our little trick-or-treaters would enjoy that. And then there's Christmas--they would sure look cute in Santa hats. Does this make me borderline neurotic?

It was a fast and furious weekend with the event and all the Homecoming celebrations. I ended up arriving to Knoxville a little after midnight, Saturday, was in bed by 1:30am and up again at 7am. Thank you for your prayers--I felt them and never once did I feel tired during the day. God is good. The event was incredible and I always come home energized after being with so many awesome moms and girls. This was the last You and Your Girl even for '07, but I have four more coming up in '08. I think the dates/locations are posted on my calendar or the LifeWay.com site under events. Sweet hubby picked me up at the airport at 9:30pm on Saturday and I waited up until midnight to see my kids all dressed up.

This week is a full week of writing. I am working on my next book, "Five Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter." I am so pumped about this book and fueled by what I have observed in our culture. Stay tuned because I will need your help in the days to come!

A few prayer requests...

I am about to head out the door for the pep rally at the high school. After the pep rally, I will head straight to the airport to fly to Knoxville, TN for a You and Your Girl event that I'm told will have nearly 1000 attendees! I am basically on the last flight out for the day, so please pray that I make it. The Atlanta leg of the flight has been delayed and I will be arriving after midnight. LifeWay was gracious enough to find a flight where I could attend the pep rally because my son, Hayden, has been nominated to represent his freshman class for Homecoming Court. They will announce the winners at the pep rally. Woo-hoo!

My daughter, Paige, will also be cheering so I get to see her perform with her new CAST! She broke a bone in her hand on Monday and we thought it was just a bad sprain. Finally, I took her in yesterday, and wadda ya' know--it was broken. And yes, in case you're wondering, I'm feeling a big heap of mother's guilt right now over not taking her in sooner AND missing the big game tonight.

I better run!


The new shirt I ironed for Hayden for the big dance...notice the tiny toddler-size blazer in the background. Oh my, it goes fast!

Are you kidding me?

PORTLAND, Maine — Pupils at a city middle school will be able to get birth control pills and patches at their student health center after the local school board approved the proposal Wednesday evening.

The plan, offered by city health officials, makes King Middle School the first middle school in Maine to make a full range of contraception available to students in grades 6 through 8, according to the state Department of Health and Human Services.

You can read the rest of this nauseating story here. My understanding of this story is that if parents sign off allowing their children to be treated (for any health matter) at the school-based clinic, their children can be handed condoms (already in place in many areas) and 11-13 year-old girls can be prescribed birth control WITHOUT parental consent.

I did an interview on this topic on Tuesday evening for a Christian talk-show on the west coast. A school nurse from the L.A. area called in and confirmed that many schools are already handing out condoms. Perhaps, one of the most disturbing things she shared was that providers were trained to do a "parentectomy" when seeing the children. In other words, they are well-versed at making sure mom and dad stay out of the loop when it comes to making sexual healthcare decisions for their minor-aged children. We would all be wise to check and see what the policy is at our children's schools and become more educated about the minor consent laws in our states.

Calling all prayer partners!

If you're a regular to my blog, you know that I occasionally post prayer requests from our prayer board on
virtuousreality.com. It looks like I need to make this a weekly thing since we are getting so many! Would you take a minute out of your day to lift up some of these sweet prayer requests? I know 21 is alot to lift up so, how about if we break it up a bit. Can I get 7 people to take 3 requests? First to reply takes first three and so on... I double-spaced between every three to help those of us with old eyes. Of course, more are welcome to join!

For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them. (Matt. 18:20)

Hello! Please be in prayer for my family! My dad has lost his job and so it has kind of put a strain on our whole family. I really appreciate your prayers! Luv ya all!
Posted by Jennifer | October 15, 2007 5:16 PM

Please pray for my friend's aunt. She is in denial at a physchiatric hospital because her husband left her and her son won't talk to her. My friend's mom is upset because my friend's aunt won't talk to her. The hospital is afraid her aunt may die.
Posted by Abigail | October 14, 2007 9:33 PM

Please pray for my friendship with a friend. I feel like I'm losing her and I don't know why or what to do. Please pray for a renewal in our relationship and to end all hostility. Pray that God will give me guidance in this relationship and that someday she would be a follower of Christ.
Posted by Torna | October 10, 2007 1:43 AM


Please pray for my best friend: his dad just found out that he has cancer and is also going to lose his job in a month and his family is expecting a baby in January. They need alot of prayer!
Posted by Grace | October 9, 2007 8:51 PM

Please pray for me because my parents are devorced and we are stuggling
Posted by alexandra | October 9, 2007 1:46 PM

Please pray for my daddy. I'm not sure if he is saved because he's never talked about it. Please pray that God will touch his heart and he will accecpt God into his life!
Thank you so much,
Kellie
Posted by Kellie | October 7, 2007 1:51 PM


My mom needs alot of prayer...she is a single mom and loves me and my bros alot! I love her to but sometimes she just needs a break. She works really hard for her class and to keep us a good family. Please pray to give her streangth.
Posted by Anonymous | October 6, 2007 11:03 PM

I would like to pray for my uncle as he is in jail.
pray for my family. help the people in struggle. help the wounded soldires.
Posted by mia | October 6, 2007 6:12 PM

My friend has recently had a stroke and she hasn't been doing well. My friends have been having a lot of troubles about purity and they're saying that they aren't going too far when they definitely are. my friend has recently confided in me (a once Christian) that she is turning into a atheist and i have no idea what to say or how to convince her that god really is there. please pray for me as well i have a D in two classes that i need to pull up.
Posted by Hope | October 5, 2007 6:19 PM


Please pray for me and my best friend as we struggle through high school. She is doing things that make me so disappointed and she doesn't want to talk to me. Please help me stay strong in God's word so that I can be a servant to him.
Posted by Joy | October 4, 2007 7:18 PM

Please pray for my Aunt and her mom.
Posted by Sydney | October 4, 2007 11:16 AM

PLEASE PRAY FOR MY GRANDMOTHER SHE IS NOT THE BEST CHRISTIAN I WANT HER TO BE , SHE TRIES TO TALK ME OUT OF MY DREAMS!!!!!!
Posted by Emma | October 3, 2007 4:09 PM


Please pray for my friends Peggy, Diane and Sharon. Please pray for advances in medicine and peace.
Posted by shirl | October 1, 2007 11:24 PM

Hi everybody. I wish that you guys could please pray for my mom, who is thinking about quitting her job, my dad, who is NEVER home anymore, my brother, my animals, and my grandma who has parkinsins really bad. Thanks! God bless you!
Posted by Elizabeth | September 27, 2007 8:16 PM

Please pray that God will come into the lives of people who need him (in particular) at school, home, church, and anyone you can think of who you know needs God. I would like to see some people who I know follow Jesus, and make the right decisions. Jesus can do amazing things.
Posted by Bubbles | September 27, 2007 7:41 PM


I pray for George Bush. He has to make some hard decisions, and he needs God to help him. I know he does believe in Jesus Christ, but he still needs the Lord anyway.
Posted by TicTac | September 27, 2007 7:37 PM

I am asking for prayer for my friend she is going through really not so cool stuff.
Also pray for me. why dose it seem like my parents dont love me i just ask for them to start showing it.
Posted by Krista | September 26, 2007 5:58 PM

I need some prayer. i just started home schooling and Im used to being the smart one in the class, but now i am the dumb one NO one is making fun of me but i still struggle though my work.
Posted by Susie | September 26, 2007 9:53 AM


my friend is having some trouble at school.
If u hang with the boys they treat you like a boy. I mean yes they know shes a girl but she is just a friend to them. They go to movies and stuff but "it's just a friend thing." My Friend hates it!!! she wants to be loved, to be "dating material"...idk...
will y'all just pray that she feels beautiful...and not care what our guys think?? thank u:) oh and wish her a mental Happy B-day:) she turned 14 today...Sept. 25th
Posted by Ariel | September 25, 2007 2:26 PM

Hello! I want to request prayer for my brother's football team. They are really struggling w/ differnt things and they really need to step it up and play to the glory of God! So, please pray!!! It doesn't matter about winning if they would just try their best! Luv ya all!
Posted by Jen | September 24, 2007 11:11 PM

Please pray for my self and my sister to return to perfect physcial health, mentally, emotionally and spritiually. And that I make better choices. Thank you.
Posted by anonymous | September 21, 2007 7:13 PM

Drum roll, please....

Well, it looks like my daughter, Paige, will follow in big brother's footsteps and head to Auburn University in the fall, 08! She has anxiously been awaiting an acceptance letter and on Friday afternoon it finally came in the mail. Unfortunately, she had already left to cheer at the Varsity game, so I packed the letter in my purse and headed to the game. At halftime, she and one of her good friends came up to see us in the stands (translation: she needed $$ for the concession stand). I told her I had something for her and handed her the letter. What fun! She is thrilled and hasn't stopped smiling since I handed her the letter. And Mom? Mom is excited for her and yet at the same time, very much aware that the clock is ticking...and the ticking just got louder.

Can I get a War Eagle?!

Focus on the Family online forum tonight!

Hey friends, I am sitting here in my hotel in Colorado Springs staring out the window at a backdrop of mountains. I head over to the Focus on the Family headquarters in about 45 minutes for the online forum. If you are stopping into my blog for the first time as a result of the daily broadcasts that aired yesterday and today, or the forum this evening, "Welcome!" Please take a minute to subscribe (right margin under "links") to my Virtue Alert blog (that also goes for you regulars!). We will be doing some big give-aways in the days to come but you must be a subscriber to receive notification of our give-aways. We will be giving away copies of all my books as well as my Your Girl DVD Bible study (for moms) and my His Girl DVD Bible study (for teen girls). These are worth over $100 in value! Again, welcome to my blog!

Focus on the Family: Tune in today and tomorrow!

Yikes! I almost forgot to mention that the Focus on the Family broadcast related to my book, Logged On and Tuned Out, airs today and tomorrow! In addition, I will be flying back up to the Focus headquarters tomorrow to do a live webcast scheduled for tomorrow evening. Here is a description of the webcast straight from the family.org homepage.

Focus on the Family will host a live Webcast and forum event discussing Internet safety and media discernment on Tuesday, Oct. 9, 2007 from 8 p.m.-11 p.m. (Eastern Standard Time.)

Don't forget to return here on Oct. 9 for this special live event, as experts Vicki Courtney and Bob Waliszewski will take calls from listeners and answer your questions! Call 1-888-275-6556 beginning at 8 p.m. Eastern time to ask a question. You can also go directly to our parenting forum on the night of the Webcast to participate in the interaction.

Do you have a story to share? Please call 1-888-275-6556 on Oct. 9 to join this live Webcast and participate in our parenting forum.

We welcome your questions and comments about:

* parenting kids who know more about the computer than you do
* social community sites and other technologies like MySpace, Facebook, IMs, cell-phones, blogs, internet gaming and more
* safe media habits and discernment tools that can protect the whole family
* the latest media tools, software and technology that can protect your kids
* how to monitor your child's online activity and using Internet safety contracts
* internet predators
* the media's impact on your child's behavior, moral choices and their brain

If you have a question, be sure to stop in! I'm honored to take part in the webcast, but a tad uncomfortable with the "expert" label. I had to ask my 14 year-old just yesterday to switch my cell phone off mute. Not to mention, I'm jotting down a few questions of my own for Bob!

Hey friends, I am sitting here in my hotel in Colorado Springs staring out the window at a backdrop of mountains. I head over to the Focus on the Family headquarters in about 45 minutes for the online forum. If you are stopping into my blog for the first time as a result of the daily broadcasts that aired yesterday and today, or the forum this evening, "Welcome!" Please take a minute to subscribe (right margin) to my Virtue Alert blog (that also goes for you regulars!). We will be doing some big give-aways in the days to come but you must be a subscriber to receive notification of our give-aways. We will be giving away copies of all my books as well as my Your Girl DVD Bible study (for moms) and my His Girl DVD Bible study (for teen girls). These are worth over $100 in value! Again, welcome to my blog!

Hot Topic #1

As Christian parents, we all face the challenge of raising our children to "live in the world without becoming of the world." This challenge is rooted in Romans 12:2, which says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." We hear the "in the world but not of the world" phrase all the time, but the truth is, there's a lot that falls into the gray area. Ah yes, the dreaded gray area. And that is where we hear another common phrase: "Choose your battles." Sometimes, we choose battles that other God-fearing Christians determine not to choose. And vice-versa.

I get multitudes of emails and phone calls to my office from well-meaning mamas (and a few dads) who are stuck in the gray and looking for direction. I thought it might be fun to tackle some of these inquiries in a new "Hot Topics" feature. I will present a "Hot Topic" question and if you feel comfortable, I would love it if you would weigh in. Please know that I am not an expert and many times, I am the one stuck in the gray! With one in college and two in high school, I face many of the same challenges you do. Who knows, I just may submit a "Hot Topic" myself in the weeks to come. But for now, let's weigh in on a question "Leslie" has. The general rule is "what would you personally do in the following situation?"

All the cheerleaders and dance team girls are always walking around after practice with their short "soffe shorts and work out tops." Their middle section is showing and no one seems to think anything of it, but me. The other night one of the girls came over to our house dressed like this. Does your ministry think this is okay or that they should cover up? My opinion is they should throw on a shirt. The bible talks about modesty, but can your ministry shed some more light on this for me?

An invitation to be on Wife Swap?

Several months ago, I stumbled upon an episode of ABC's reality show, "Wife Swap." I know, I know, not the most wholesome show to watch, but it was just so stinkin' entertaining. If you're unfamiliar with the show (yes, I recommend you keep it that way!), the premise behind the show is to take two different families and have the moms switch places to experience how another family lives. For the first half of the week, mom lives the life of the family she is staying with. The second half of the week, the mom introduces a "rule change" where she requires the family she is staying with to live by the rules she has implemented in her own home.

While watching this train wreck of a social experiment, I told my family, "If I applied for that show, you know our family would get picked." The whole family just laughed and shrugged it off. Until last week that is, when I received this note in my MySpace inbox.

I'm a Casting Producer for ABC's Primetime show, "Wife Swap." I hope you don't mind me contacting you, but we're gearing up for a fourth season at the moment and we're currently looking for one-of-a-kind families with plenty of personality! I've read about all of your accomplishments in fostering positive relationships between parents and their children and I think there is so much you'd be able to teach another family if you were to "swap" with another mother for a week.

I almost spewed my morning coffee from laughing so hard when I read the note. Can you imagine who they would "swap" me with? I'm picturing a family staunchly opposed to the Christian faith with a houseful of rebellious daughters. As an added bonus, mom and her girls dress like street walkers, cuss like sailors, and take a weekly pole-dancing class. No worries, I graciously declined. It pays in the five digits, but you could add a zero and I still wouldn't do it. My husband and kids did daydream out loud for a second, wondering if perhaps the other mom was into cooking. Nah, even three hot meals a day is just not worth it!