Can you say, "Doggie Daycare?"

Remind me again, why did I get a second Yorkie? Scout will be a year old next week and this little pocket pup already has two surgeries under his belt (two broken legs and a neutering) and has logged numerous visits to the Vet for random events such as getting a greenie stuck to the roof of his mouth. So, I thought I would give you a little taste of the challenge I faced this morning when I settled into my favorite writing chair to work on my next book.

And Keith, if you read this before I have a chance to break the news to you, that shredded mess on our sofa is your Inside Texas magazine highlighting the UT Longhorns fall football season. No worries though, it's only missing the cover at this point.

I better run, he just ran by with a twist tie in his mouth. Maybe I'll head to Starbucks to write today...

And the winner of the book give-away is....

Kim (aka: connorcolesmom)! My Executive Director, Shawna drew the #13 and your submission was #13!

For the rest of you, stay tuned as many more give-aways are coming your way! I have gathered up signed copies from some of my author buddies like: Priscilla Shirer, Shaunti Feldhahn, Angela Thomas, Jennifer Rothschild, Cindi Wood, Susie Davis and many more, so make sure you have subscribed to receive my alerts (right margin) so you don't miss out on the opportunity. And if you are an author and have a book you would like to donate for a future give-away, please contact Shawna and send it our way! (shawna@virtuousreality.com)

Congrats to Kim and a big thank you to everyone who participated in the body image survey for my next book!

Let the Christmas fun begin!

Your Christmas is Most Like: A Very Brady Christmas

For you, it's all about sharing times with family. Even if you all get a bit cheesy at times.

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

Oh c'mon, don't be a Scrooge! Take the quiz and report back, letting us all know what movie your Christmas is most like. And while you're at it, let us know when you stopped believing in Santa and how you found out. It was a question on the quiz above and I immediately had a flash back to being six years-old and standing in my front yard with my best friend, Kara. An older girl down the street (Kara's neighbor and sometimes, a very MEAN girl), made fun of Kara and me for still believing. To lessen the blow, my mom allowed me to stay up and put out Santa gifts for my younger brother. I sure hope Debbie (no last name in order to protect the guilty) got coal in her stocking that year...

Thanksgiving fun!

Splitting logs in the hay barn


Keith hauling the boys home


Cute cousins: Paige and Ally


Memaw and Poppy (aren't they adorable?!)


Scout's first encounter w/ cows--good thing he was leashed.


The barn


Hayden playing some b-ball


The whole clan


The homestead


I hope everyone had a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving. We headed to Trinity, Texas (population 2757) to celebrate Thanksgiving at my in-laws. We call it "the farm," but it is better described as a small ranch in east Texas. They have cattle, four-wheelers, tractors, a hay barn, and a fishing pond. It backs up to a narrow arm of Lake Livingston where we have on occasion, spotted alligators (years ago, an 11 foot alligator showed up in the Trinity High School parking lot, or so the story goes!). The property belonged to Keith's grandparents (now deceased) and his parents retired there when our kids where just babies. We have made many family memories there and it's nice to have a place where we can escape the big city.

And trust me, this city girl has come along way since the first time my hubby took me to "the farm" for a weekend visit back when we were engaged to be married. I still get teased by my in-laws for showing up in my Calvin Klein jeans and knit Polo shirt (C'mon, it was the 80's and preppy was all the rage!). At one point during the visit, I actually asked my soon-to-be husband if they had ever thought about having someone come in and clean up all the cow poop. True story. It's a wonder he didn't break off the engagement! My college boy was in town, but flew out on Friday morning to make it back for the Auburn/Alabama game on Saturday. Can you say "War Eagle"?!!

How was your Thanksgiving? Do you have any favorite Thanksgiving memories/traditions?

Thanking God for your bod?

Cheesy title, I know, but with Thanksgiving just around the corner, I thought it would make an interesting post. I was also motivated by the answers coming in on the post related to your attitudes about body image. I so appreciated everyone's candid and honest responses. While I am not surprised by the struggle that so many women admitted to having when it comes to finding contentment in regard to body image, it has weighed heavy on my heart all the same as I have read your answers. And puhleese, don't ever for a minute think that just because I cover this topic in many of my books, means that I have it all together in this area.

Just last week, I went in for a doctor's appointment (sinus infection, ugh) and the nurse said those dreaded words before ushering me into a room. "Step on the scale, please." Now, you have to know that in an effort to improve my attitude regarding body image, I put my scale away about a year ago and it has done wonders in my attitude adjustment. Until now, that is. I felt too crummy to argue with her so robotically, I slipped off my shoes and stepped on the scale. I stood there as motionless as possible as she fiddled with the metal sliders and continued to move one further and further to the right until it landed on a number. Dag-nabbit. Was that a primal scream going off in my head? Immediately, another number came rushing to my mind. You know the one I'm talking about. That stupid "magical number" that had defined my worth for so many years and determined my mood on many a day. A number mind you, that is truthfully not even realistic for someone who has had three children and is over 40. I wish I could tell you that I immediately recognized the enemy's scheme and quickly readjusted my attitude by changing those negative tapes. Not so. Here's a glimpse of the tape that was playing in my head as I stepped off that scale:

"Oh my gosh. Are you kidding me? Can that number be right?"

The tapes were interrupted when the Dr. entered the room and I was forced to focus on the real reason I was there--the other sickness in my head! But, the tapes picked right back up again when I drove away, in route to get my prescriptions filled:

"Okay, it's 2 p.m. and I've had breakfast and lunch, so that has to allow for at least 2-3 lbs. And my clothes, they have to weigh around 2ish lbs. Add another pound for this cute, but very HEAVY Brighton necklace. And all that congestion in my head--that has to be another couple of lbs, right?" (Wow, losing weight has never been so easy!)

At this point, something snapped and I realized the absurdity of the tapes running through my head. I gave the devil a stern talking to in my car and thanked God out loud for seeing me as "fearfully and wonderfully made." I asked Him to continue to help me in the pursuit to define my worth according to His standard of beauty rather than the world's narrow, not to mention, unrealistic standard. I tell you, always a work in progress! (Phil. 1:6)

As someone who in past years, struggled with an eating disorder, I will forever be in recovery. Like many of you, I have been brain-washed by the culture's lie that contentment is linked to a magical number on the scale. A number mind you, that does not take into consideration the childbearing years and the natural aging process. Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like if we (and our daughters) were raised to know and accept that gaining weight is "normal" as we age and have children? Or how about this: What if, instead of having one magical number that forever haunts us, we have a more realistic "range" that becomes our goal? Better yet, what if we put the scales away and focus our energy instead on becoming healthy, not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually?

Do you think it's possible to thank God for our bods and quit grumbling at our reflections? That doesn't mean we go hog wild (sorry, no pun intended). Some of us may need to take necessary measures to improve the temple in an effort to be "healthy," but in the meantime, can we just say "thanks"? Will you join me in this "Thanksgiving" challenge?

Blast from the past: November, '07

I love the “happy way I feel inside” when I hear this song. Get a load out of Neil Sedaka’s fly-away collar! And you gotta love those two back-up girls—talk about vintage 70’s. Amazing what a curling iron can do.

When I hear this song, I instantly flashback to 5th grade and my first ever “steady,” Dorwin Malone. He passed me a folded up note on the first day of school that said, “I like you. Will you go with me? Circle yes or no.” Rumor had it, he was the fasted boy in the 5th grade and with credentials like that, who could refuse? I circled “yes” and passed the note back. The next day, I was rewarded with a chunky, silver-plated I.D. bracelet with his name engraved on it. The bracelet signaled to a watching public that we were “going steady.” (You younger girls who follow my blog may need to get your mamas to explain this charming tradition to you) In a nutshell, it basically made the relationship official. And if you ask me, it sure beats stupid nicknames people give to Hollywood couples to make it official. There's "Brangelina," "TomKat, and "Garfleck." I guess that would have made Dorwin and me, "Dorki." (I know, I know--it's dorky, but I just couldn't resist.)

I proudly wore that bracelet on my wrist for the remainder of the year and never once that I can remember, did a word exchange between us. We would, however hold hands under the lunch table as per his suggestion in one of his early notes. I had a perfect attendance record that year, and trust me, it wasn’t for that silly little ribbon you get at the end-of-the-year assembly! Every time I heard this song, I would daydream that it was about me and Dorwin and play the scene out in my mind. My heart always skipped a beat on the line, “I turned to her and she kisses me.” I guess what they say is true: The female heart is wired for romance.

Now, it’s your turn. What is your flashback memory when you hear this song? Better yet, who was your first steady? Was there an I.D. bracelet or some other token he gave you to seal the deal?

A true Texan knows:

1. That “ya’ll” and “fixin’ to” are a legitimate part of the English vocabulary. If you don’t say these phrases on a regular and consistent basis, we know right away that you aren’t from our neck of the woods. Oh, and “neck of the woods” – you have to say that too.

2. Chicken Fried Steak is a required part of every diet. Extra credit for mash potatoes, corn on the cob, and fried okra. And for the record, it's not chicken fried steak unless it's smothered in white cream gravy. I've heard rumors about restaurants in other states putting brown gravy on a fried chicken cutlet and trying to pass it off as chicken fried steak on the menu. That should be a crime, punishable by law.

3. Animals were made for eating. Get ready for the hate mail. I don’t mean to offend anyone here, but you can count the Vegetarians in our state on one hand. We like our crispy bacon and our backyard burgers. And while we’re on the subject, BBQ is not really BBQ unless it’s made from BEEF! What’s up with that faux pork BBQ stuff in AL, TN, and GA?

4. Humidity = Hair spray. Enough said. If you want to know which brand works best, ask any female from Houston. Trust me, these gals know their hair products. Should one of those Texas-sized tornadoes blow through town, they might lose their homes, but their big, shellacked hair helmets will remain right smack in place, not a hair out of place.

5. You can do serious jail time for picking bluebonnets (our state flower). Okay, not really, but we continue to pass along this tall Texas tale to our children and grandchildren in order to scare them half out of their wits, so they’ll leave these beauties untouched on the side of the road.

6. There is no such thing as “authentic Mexican food.” I’m guessing that some health freak in California probably coined the phrase. Enchiladas, by law must be topped with chili con carne, cheese, onions, and sitting in a pool of grease in order to qualify for Tex-Mex. Restaurants fixing them any other way in this state won’t be in business for long.

7. The weather is as unpredictable as a quirky middle school romance. It can be below freezing in the morning and in the 80’s by mid-afternoon. Oh, and when it freezes over every decade or so, everything shuts down because we don’t know what to do. Those who venture out usually end up on the evening news standing next to their banged-up car in a ditch with their heads bowed in shame.

8. There is only one “UT.” Wait, you didn’t know there’s another college out there claiming to be UT with some skewed shade of orange and white? (Cough, cough, Tennessee) I myself didn’t discover this fact until I traveled to Nashville for the first time in 1999 and saw the UT logo on shirts in the airport. I made a comment to my friend picking me up that it was “very cool that people as far away as Tennessee were following the Horns.” Yep, true story.

9. There is no such thing as a stranger. We are the “friendly state” and with that honor comes the responsibility of smiling, waving, or saying “hi” (or a combination of all three) to passers-by. If you don’t respond to our kind gesture, we automatically assume you are: A) hard of seeing and hearing or B) from New York.

10. We are proud, but not prideful. Big difference. We simply take great pride in being from Texas and can’t imagine living anywhere else. Whoops, I meant to say we are proud we are from Texas. ☺


Not from Texas? Well, bless your heart--we love you, anyways! Now, I gotta go ya'll. I'm fixing to head to Nashville for the annual Women's Forum and a LifeWay author get-together.

Want a chance to win two books?

Help! I need some snippets of comments regarding body image to share in the book I am currently writing called “5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter.” I can’t guarantee to use them all, but if you help out, I’ll enter your name in a drawing to win my book, “The Virtuous Woman” (hardcopy) AND a copy of Beth Moore’s hardcover journal, “Whispers of Hope.” (retail value: $31)

In regard to body image:

1. What sort of messages did you receive from your mom and/or dad when growing up? (I am looking for specifics like “My mom told me that if I didn’t lose weight I would never get a husband” or “my dad always told me I was beautiful even when I was going through that awkward, gawky stage.” (stories are great as I will look for ideal pull quotes to use)
2. Did your mother have a positive body image? If not, how has it impacted you today?
3. Are you satisfied with your body/appearance? If no, why not? Are your expectations reasonable? (explain) If yes, to what do you attribute your ability to be satisfied (explain)?
4. If your weight fluctuates beyond your desired weight range, does it affect your overall happiness? (explain)

It will help if you post your answers as 1-4 and feel free to cut and paste if it helps. You can post your answers as “anonymous” but please include a first name and age as this is how I will source them in the book. If you’re not comfortable posting a comment to the blog, you can also send your answers to Shawna@virtuousreality.com and put “survey” in the subject line. The week after Thanksgiving break, we will gather up the names and draw for a winner. Remember, you must leave us your email address if you post a comment! Thanks!

Hot Topic #2

Vicki,

IF you have some time to comment on this I would appreciate it. If not, I totally understand. Here goes: What kind of boundaries do you set for your kids in terms of what they watch and listen to. How "hyper" are you about it? do you let them make their own choices? I have a 15 year old son and almost 11 year old daughter. They do not really "flow" with culture but I can tell that they are wanting to venture to the "other side" to kind of check things out. I am pretty tight myself on what I watch and listen to just because I had been so consumed with culture in the past and was left VERY dissatisfied and discontent. So, I feel very strongly about not "setting any evil before my eyes" or their eyes. And yet, I know that legalism is not the route I want to take. I want them to see what's out there and to be able to evaluate and decide for themselves that they don't want anything to do with the typical cultural traps. Would you like to lend your thoughts??

Thanks, Elaine

Great question from Elaine! I am working on my answer and will post it as a comment in the next couple of days. In the meantime, I would love for others to weigh in. Remember, the "Hot Topic" feature will pose issues that many parents are experiencing, and there is not necessarily one right answer or solution. If you do answer, please let us know how many kids you have and how old they are. I would love for some of you students/singles who visit my blog to also answer, since you are closer to some of our kids' ages! What did your parents do and overall, did it work?

Do you have a question for the Hot Topic feature? If so, send it to info@virtuousreality.com and put Hot Topic in the subject line. While I can't post all the questions submitted, I will try to tackle the most common ones I receive.

Mercy Moses! Where did the time go?

I just picked up Paige’s senior pictures and received yet another reminder that the clock is ticking faster and faster, signaling a fast-approaching D-day (dropoff to college day). I know I keep reminding you mamas with young’ins to treasure the time for all it’s worth and I must sound like a broken record, at times. But before you know it…yep, you’ll be the one picking up their senior pictures, digging for a tissue in your purse, and shaking your head back and forth in total disbelief.

I can still remember that little pint-sized, blonde, curly-topped toddler and how she could literally bring me to tears in those early years. Suffice it to say, she was not an easy baby. The pediatrician referred to her as a “high-need” infant, so let’s just leave it at that. The fact that my husband and I went on to have a third child is truly a miracle. I kid you not, the child did not nap. I’m still trying to catch up on the sleep I lost in those years. I think her first words were, “I do it myself!” What’s funny, is my husband and I really expected her to be a ring-tailed tooter well into her teen years, but alas, she has been anything-but. Go figure!

Now, go and enjoy those babies—even if they are giving you a hard time. Before you know it, the house will be plenty quiet and you can sleep all you want. ☺

I couldn't live without....

This is officially my most shallow post to date. Last week after a full day of non-stop, brain-numbing writing, I treated myself to an episode of Oprah. When I'm under a deadline (which seems to be ALWAYS), it's hard for me to just sit still and relax. I had spent the entire day researching and writing on the objectification of our girls in today's culture, so needless to say, I was in the market for something light--really light. I closed up my laptop, curled up on the couch wrapped in my favorite afghan and watched the whole show from start to finish. I know Oprah can cover some heavy-duty topics but on this particular day, she invited some of the celebs to come on her show and share some items they just couldn't live without. Yep, it was shallow day for Oprah, too! It was refreshing to hear some of the stars plug over-the-counter make-up items, jewelry from Target, Skinny Cow ice cream treats, and simple must-have items for your purse (like Altoids Sours). So, in the spirit of all things shallow and light, below are five things I simply couldn't live without on a daily basis. Now, mind you, this list does not include the obvious answers like Jesus, Bible, family, pets, etc... We're talking shallow, remember?

Here goes:

1. A really good cup of coffee in the morning. In fact, I am the only coffee drinker in the family, so I make half a pot for me and me, alone. I like to mix different grinds and when I find a flavor I like, it makes my day. Here is my current favorite mix: 2 parts Dunkin Donuts Original Blend and 1 part Tully's Breakfast Blend (never heard of it, but it was on sale).

2. Ritz Crackers. Love, love, love them. I never tire of them and I'm convinced the world is a better place because of them. And yes, I have a pack that sits on my bedside table and have been known to eat them in bed, much to hubby's dismay.

3. Hansen's Diet Soda: Tangerine Lime. Zero calories, no carbs, no caffeine, and oh, so good. I have one a day and it's helped me cut back to one can of Diet Dr. Pepper, which my mother-in-law has convinced me causes brain tumors and continues to send me the emails about Aspartame to back it up. Sigh.

4. Bobbi Brown lip gloss. My good buddy and author friend, Susie Davis tipped me off to this magical potion and I've been hooked ever since. It's a bit pricey but it lasts forever because you don't have to keep re-applying it. Your lips never dry out and I'm convinced that Susie and I will have the lips of twenty year-olds while sitting around the Scrabble table in the nursing home.

5. MacBook computer. I hesitantly converted from a PC to a Mac several years ago and have since, never looked back. I probably border on being a "Mac snob" and when someone talks about their PC, I shake my head back and forth and mumble, "Bless your heart." I have never had a virus, get less spam, and my heart beats faster over simple features like "Dashboard" or the new "Stacks" feature. Have no clue what I'm talking about? Bless your heart.

So, there you have it. Now, it's your turn. I want to know what your five must-have items are. Or even one if you don't have time to compile a whole list. Today is shallow day and you are the celeb!