A simple New Year's resolution

Wow, it's been awhile! I sure hope everyone has enjoyed the Christmas break and had time to reflect on the gift that keeps on giving--our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

The Christmas Eve gathering in my home was a real tribute to my grandfather who passed away this past May. He and grandmother had to be proud when we circled up to sing carols and read the Christmas story. Only a handful of the 23 family members present can carry a tune, but I know it must have been a "joyful noise" all the same. Christmas morning was spent with my immediate family and we held to our standard tradition: The kids gathered at the top of the stairs while Keith and I stood at the bottom with the camera and camcorder in hand. Once we gave the green light, they rushed down to the game room to see if Santa had paid them a visit. (Will they ever outgrow Santa?! Could this be a tactic perhaps, to receive more presents?) After dumping their stockings, we gathered in the kitchen for breakfast tacos before opening presents. After a relaxing couple of days, we headed to East Texas for a surprise birthday party for Keith's mother who just turned 70. She was truly surprised and as an added treat, we had a photographer come out to their ranch to take some family pictures.

Now, we are gearing up to leave for a ski trip on New Year's Day. We will be road-tripping (12ish hours) with our longtime friends--our Pastor and Music Minister and their respective families. Between us all, we will have 6 adults, 10 teenagers, 2 tweens, 3 SUV's, and lots of ear buds plugged into Ipod's, DVD's, PSP's and anything else that might alleviate driver stress. I'm sure I'll have plenty to blog about upon my return, including a few marital spats over bathroom stops (or lack thereof). I will be using the long drive to work on my 5 Conversations book (hooray for AC adapters that plug into the ashtray!) and Keith is looking forward to listening to some 70's and 80's music he just added to his Ipod with Itunes gift cards he got for Christmas.

As for New Year's resolutions, mine is a simple one this year: Simplicity. I want to continue taking steps in 2008 to move toward a simpler pace of life and trust me, I have a long way to go! I want fewer deadlines and more downtime to spend relaxing or better yet, with the Lord. Sure, I'd like to lose 5 lbs. and organize my house too, but in an effort to achieve my simplicity goal, I'm going to narrow my list to just one resolution.

So, what about you? What are your New Year's resolutions?

A welcome change

If I had to choose one word to sum up 2007 for the Courtney family, it would be “change.” Change is one of those words that depending on the circumstances can evoke feelings of dread, uncertainty, or even anticipation. For us, it has meant a son leaving middle school and moving onto high school. It has meant another son moving into his first apartment. It has meant a daughter applying to colleges and preparing to leave the nest. It has meant a husband wrapping up ten years at one law firm and moving onto another. And it has meant a ministry moving in a new direction after a decade of doing things the same, familiar way. There is good change, bad change, and just plain ol’, the-jury-is-still-out kind of change. Sometimes, change is initiated. Other times, it is invited. And yet other times, it shows up as an unwelcome guest knocking on the door in the middle of the night. Change is inevitable.

Yet in the midst of change, one thing remains the same. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. In Luke 2, when the angel announced, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people,” he was heralding a message of change…a good kind of change. While much of this world chases after a temporary brand of “happiness,” Christmas should serve as a reminder that our focus rather, should be the joy that comes from the “good news.” While change can interrupt the pursuit of happiness, it can never rob us of the joy that is rooted in the “good news.”

God has convicted my heart as of late that oftentimes, I get swept up in the pursuit of happiness rather than bask in the “good news of great joy.” Joy cannot be bought. No amount of gifts under the tree or twinkling lights on the front lawn will summons its presence. Even the commercials where hubby surprises his wife with a new Lexus topped with a giant red bow—momentary happiness perhaps, but not joy. It cannot be produced by a crackling fire in a fireplace, a plate of iced sugar cookies made from scratch, a banquet table of food, or a houseful of family and friends. Joy is not rooted in a job, a marriage, or even parenthood. Joy is not the result of being debt-free or in good health. Joy is not the reward of those who, by the world's definition "have it all." In fact, they are oftentimes, the most joyless people you'll meet because they lack the one thing worthing having. Joy eludes them. No amount of square footage or crown molding in our homes will bring joy. A closet full of clothes with designer labels won’t even come close. Being on the A team, winning awards, or a book on the best-seller list will not bring joy. A year free of trials and suffering will not pave a road to joy. Strangely enough, adversity often brings us closer to the heart of joy.

And while God reminds me personally of this truth, I pray that my children will also remember this truth when they unwrap their gifts on Christmas morning. Xbox 360’s, North Face jackets, video games and cell phones will come with instructions, but no joy will be found in the package. Joy not included. Joy can only be found by looking to the giver of joy and accepting His gift of unconditional love and forgiveness. May we all reflect on this “good news of great joy” this Christmas season and in the years to come.

Joy to the world, the Lord is come. Let earth receive her King. Let every heart prepare Him room.

My heart, your heart, and the hearts of all mankind.

Jamie Lynn Spears, pregnant

I returned home from a dinner date with my hubby last night to the breaking news that Britney Spear's little sister, Jamie Lynn Spears (16) is preggers. My kids bombarded me with the news the moment I walked in the door. I share this detail to give you a glimpse of how quickly word spreads among our youth when it comes to the misdeeds of Hollywood.

When I sat down to my computer to see if the rumor was fact or fiction, I had quite a few emails in my inbox from concerned mothers whose little girls watch Nickelodeon's "Zoey 101" and admire the lead character, Jamie Lynn. They wanted to know what to say to their little girls over the breakfast table this morning regarding this latest news.

After confirming the rumor (she admitted it to OK! Magazine in an interview and the cover story will hit newstands today) and visiting Spear's official website to find out more about her (I didn't even know she had a show), here is what I discovered on her website:

Winner of Hollywood Life's "One To Watch" Award, Jamie Lynn Spears was also nominated for a Teen Choice Award, in the category of "Breakout Female Performer," for her role on Zoey 101 and recently won the award for Favorite TV Actress at the 2006 Kids Choice Awards for her role on Zoey 101. Zoey 101 entered its second season September and was up for an Emmy in the category of "Best Children's Program".

No wonder these mama's are concerned, especially given that she won a Kids Choice Award in 2006 and was nominated for another one in 2007. Interestingly, I also discovered on another site that her mother has written a book called "Pop Culture Mom" that was supposed to release this spring (Thomas Nelson Publishers), but has now been "delayed indefinitely." Good move.

Now, I share this background in order that you might understand how I responded to my own children ages, 19, 17, and 14. I expect that my response will be considered by some in the Christian community (and otherwise) to be controversial on many levels, but here goes:

"Guys, we shouldn't be the least bit surprised that she is pregnant at 16. Nearly 40% of teen girls will become pregnant at least once by the age of 20. It's certainly disappointing given the fact that she was a role model to young girls, but let this serve as a reminder that even role models, as well as god-fearing Christian kids, have hormones and will face temptations. She (and her boyfriend) gave into the temptation and will now have to face the consequences of that choice. However, I do have to commend her for choosing to have her baby in spite of being raised in a culture that peddles abortion as a quick-fix solution. Given her awards and her "up-and-coming" celebrity status, she had everything to lose (in the world's eyes), and has chosen to fore go her career (translation: it's OVER!) and do the right thing after the fact. How many girls, Christian girls included, given her current status and success, would have raced off to the nearest abortion clinic to "fix the problem" in an effort to continue their ascent up the Hollywood ladder?"

So, there you have it. I am certainly not saying that we turn this girl into a saint for choosing life, but there is clearly more than one teachable moment to this particular teenage pregnancy story. And for the record, this is a particularly touchy subject for me given the following factors: A) I have had Christian girls who were raised in the church, confide to me through tears that their parents made them get an abortion to save face in the church -- one was even a deacon's daughter and another was a Baptist minister's daughter; B) I have had Christian girls share with me that upon discovering they were pregnant, many of their Christian girlfriends recommended they get an abortion, reminding them they would be "forgiven"; C) I have counseled multitudes of Christian women (teen, college, adult) who discovered the hard way that abortion is anything but a quick fix and would give anything to turn back the hands of time; and finally, D) I can relate firsthand to the regret the women who have sought my counsel feel having myself, opted for abortion at the age of 17. As someone who bought many of the lies peddled by the culture, my past abortion serves as one of many motivating factors to get a better message out to our girls. Praise God for His mercy and forgiveness. ☺

Have a Mary Christmas!

With the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, it's easy to lose focus on the true meaning of Christmas. God never intended for us to race through the holidays at break neck speed. (Ouch, I'm personally convicted!) In Luke, Chapter 10, we hear about two sisters, Mary and Martha who entertained Jesus in their home. Now, if you were feeling a tad stressed over entertaining the family over the holidays, think about the stress Martha must have felt over having Jesus on the guest list. I say Martha because if you remember the story, Mary wasn't exactly stressing out over their special guest.

Here is a recap to refresh your memory:

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:38-42)

I can just picture poor Martha racing frantically through the house to get everything just right for Jesus' arrival. Finally, He arrives and her sister Mary occupies herself by sitting at His feet and clinging to His every word. You can imagine this didn't settle well with Martha and if you've ever tried to entertain a large group of people, I'm sure you can relate to her frustration. Finally, Martha can stand it no longer and asks Jesus to tell her sister to help out. I'm sure she never imagined that He would side with Mary, but He does. He gently tells her that she is

"worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

It's important to note that Jesus is not knocking serving, but rather making the point that "sitting" at His feet should precede serving. This Christmas, will you make an effort to slow down and "sit" at the feet of Jesus? Here are a few ideas to help you out:

• Each day, try to kneel and pray and thank God for the gift of His Son, Jesus. It's even better if you can thank Him for other specific blessings you have experienced this past year.

• Listen to Christmas carols that honor God. When you play them, try to concentrate on the words behind the meaning.

• Start in the book of Luke and read a little bit each day. Again, try to imagine yourself in the setting as a bystander. What were they thinking and feeling?

• Have each member of your family write a note to Jesus, telling Him what you each plan to give Him next year. Seal it in an envelope, put a date on the front, and put them on your tree or fireplace mantel. Before you dive into presents or stockings, read the letters to Jesus. (My family has done this off and on through the years and it is so cool!)

• Read the Christmas story out loud to your family on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning.


Have a Mary Christmas!

Help me choose my next book cover!

My publisher has emailed me a couple of book cover options for my next book, "5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter" and we would love for you to weigh in on the matter! (Even if you are not a parent or don't have daughters!) Also, if you have a blog, feel free to send your readers here to vote. The more opinions, the better!

Those who comment on their personal favorite will be entered into a drawing for a give-away! The give-away will include SIGNED copies of a Priscilla Shirer book and an Angela Thomas book! Yippee! (Just remember, if you post as "anonymous" and don't have a blog where we can find you, you must include an email address).

Here's what you need to know when pondering your favorite cover: the subtitle is "From cradle to college: Telling her the truth before she believes the culture's lies." The book is geared to mothers of girls ages 0-18. The premise behind the "conversations" is that each conversation is an ongoing conversation. Included in the book will be tips on how to have each conversation at various stages of development: 5 and under; 6-11; and 12 and up.

Hope that helps. If you feel led, please include why you chose the one you did. Bottom line: which cover would stand a better chance of drawing your attention on a bookstore shelf? Thank you so much! Back to writing...

The Christmas ornament that makes me cry every year

I have a bazillion pictures of my kids and hours upon hours of home video footage, but for some reason, this little ornament sends me running for a box of tissues every year when we decorate our tree. And without fail, the entire family laughs at me. Oh well, I knew my blogging, mama friends would empathize. Turn your sound up and then head to the nearest Hallmark store and fetch you one of these little buggars if you have young'ins. I wish I had done the same thing with my boys, especially now that they sound like grown men. Oh goodness, tissue please.

An early Christmas present

My grandfather passed away this past May at the age of 92. He and my Grandmother were instrumental in my becoming a Christian during my college years when I moved to Austin to attend The University of Texas. Suffice it to say, they both hold a very dear place in my heart. My grandmother died in 2001 and I find myself still thinking about the two of them often. As Christmas approaches, I remember how Granddad in particular, LOVED Christmas. On many Christmas Eves, we would gather in their small living room (same house for fifty years) and Granddad would sit in his favorite chair (from the looks of it, possibly the same chair for 50 years). Next to him, was a lit up Christmas tree that he cut down from a tree farm in Elgin. Of course, there was food--tons of food and Granddad would say a prayer and reflect on the true meaning of Christmas. He prayed for unsaved family members or those who were straying from God's path--it didn't matter if they were standing right there in the circle! One of my aunts would bring her keyboard and we would sing Christmas carols. Bless our hearts, most of us can't carry a tune, but we did our best to make a joyful noise. Especially memorable are the times when most everyone could be there--Grandmother and Granddad's four kids, six grand-children, and ten great-grandchildren. The highlight of the night was when the kids would tear into their gifts under the tree. There was no order to it and it could best be described as sheer chaos. Granddad and Grandmother loved every minute of it.

This Christmas Eve will be hard. The house has been sold, gutted, and remodeled. I know this because each of us has driven down their street out of curiosity and wept at the sight of it. Phooey on change. When I recently drove by the house (my first time since his death), I choked up the minute I pulled onto the culdesac and rounded the corner. Instantly, I was flooded with memories of stopping by many times with the kids from the time they were just babies. I would call first and let them know I was coming and without fail, Granddad would be sitting on his driveway in his lawn chair waiting. He was usually shelling pecans that he had gathered up from his pecan tree in the front yard. He was so proud of those pecans. For years, I told my husband that I wanted to plant a pecan tree somewhere in our yard and invite Granddad over and show it to him--a sort of tribute to him that was really more about the memory than the pecans. I was reminded of that when I circled the block and passed slowly by the house. Of course, we got busy and you guessed it, it never happened. The regret only made me cry more.

This past Thursday, I headed to our lake cabin by myself to knockout some writing. We've only had the place about a year and a half and one of the selling points were two pecan trees in the front yard. Nothing happened last year and I wondered if the trees were sick or something. (I later discovered that the trees only shed their pecans every other year) I hadn't been to the house in about a month, so I was anxious to see if a crop had come in. The moment I pulled onto our leaf-covered driveway that leads to the carport, I had my answer. I could hear the sound of crackling pecans under my tires! I hurried into the house and grabbed a canvas bag from the kitchen and raced out to the yard. They were EVERYWHERE! At one point while gathering them up, I choked back tears and asked God to part the curtains of heaven and allow Granddad a glimpse of his oldest grandchild carrying on the tradition.

This Christmas Eve, we will all gather at my home in memory of Grandmother and Granddad and the countless Christmas Eves spent at their home. It won't quite be the same, but I know it's exactly what they would want us to do. And you can guess what I'll be serving! Let's see, pecan pie, pecan pralines, candy-coated pecans... any suggestions? I'm new to this! What are some Christmas memories you are carrying on in remembrance of loved ones this year?

Glamour magazine must be doing the happy dance!

In the news today on FOXNews.com:

The nation's teen birth rate has risen for the first time in 14 years, according to a new government report.

The birth rate had been dropping since 1991. The decline had slowed in recent years, but government statisticians said Wednesday it jumped 3 percent from 2005 to 2006.

"It took us by surprise," said Stephanie Ventura of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, a co-author of the report.

The birth data for 2006 also showed births to unmarried mothers hit a new record high, and the overall birth rate has climbed to its highest level since 1971.

The teen increase was based on the 15-19 age group, which accounted for about 99 percent of the more than 440,000 births to teens in 2006.

The rate rose to 41.9 live births per 1,000 females in that age group, up from 40.5 in 2005.

So, why am I picking on Glamour magazine (other than the known fact that I abhor the fashion magazines for the damaging messages they send to young women)? In their December issue, believe it or not, they give unwed mothers Bridget Moynahan and Spice Girl Melanie Brown a “Best of 2007” award “Because they remained thrilled about their pregnancies even after their relationships fell apart.” Margery Eagan, columnist for the Boston Herald, wrote a fabulous article entitled, "Single mom's the word," and says Glamour is "a distinctly influential bible to thousands of middle-class teenage girls." In her article she points out that Glamour has glamorized single motherhood by highlighting out-of-wedlock pregnancies such as Moynahan's and Brown's by singling them out as "2007’s “Best Gutsy New Moms”. The message is clear: "They’re heroes. Role models of proud womanhood," she claims. Eagan further says, “cool” is exactly the message Glamour magazine is sending in its December cover story - a sort of trickle-down “isn’t this swell!” intended for young women with neither the money, maturity, nor the skills of a Bridget Moynahan or a Melanie Brown. Yet another example of the cheap brand of "girl power" that bombards our young women on a daily basis.

While I commend these two women for having their babies when many would have opted for abortion, I hardly think we need to be handing them any awards. And before the hate mail starts to trickle in defending single moms, let me set the record straight: I am not criticizing the single moms whose husbands have bailed on them and the kids, leaving mom with the difficult challenge of being both mom and dad to their children. They have my utmost respect. What I'm suggesting is that if we're handing out awards to "Best Gutsy New Moms," let's recognize the young ladies who swam against the tide of the casual hook-up culture and somehow managed to remain pure for their wedding night. You know, the ones who did it in the right order: marriage first, then sex, then kids. (And yes, this may include women who today, find themselves single) Oh but that's so old fashioned! And besides, who needs fathers? They're so overrated in the eyes of a sophisticated Glamour magazine.

Or while we're handing out the "gutsy mom" awards, how about we highlight moms who refuse "selective abortion" in a multiple birth pregnancy when told it could endanger the lives of the other fetus(es)? Or how about those who refuse to abort when told they are carrying a baby with Downs Syndrome or a handicap and then devote their lives to loving and caring for these angels? Sounds pretty gutsy, to me. Or what about the moms who open their hearts to children trapped in the foster care system, many of which are challenged and have special needs? Those would be my personal picks, but hey, no one's asking. Ironically, Glamour magazine contacted my office about a year ago about possibly interviewing me for a piece on "female evangelists." Funny how that never panned out....Yikes, was it something I said?

You tell 'em, girl!

From the Associated Press:

NEW YORK (AP) — An angry Jennifer Love Hewitt is defending her curves after photos of her in a bikini were ridiculed on the Internet. "I've sat by in silence for a long time now about the way women's bodies are constantly scrutinized," the 28-year-old actress writes on her Web site.

"To set the record straight, I'm not upset for me, but for all the girls out there that are struggling with their body image."

The photos show Hewitt, with a bit of cellulite, on a Hawaii beach with her new fiance, Scottish actor Ross McCall.

Several sites posted the shots, along with some less-than-complimentary comments. TMZ.com, for example, said, "We know what you ate this summer, Love — everything!"

"A size 2 is not fat! Nor will it ever be," Hewitt responded in a post Thursday. "And being a size 0 doesn't make you beautiful."

Finally, someone has the guts to speak up about the culture's narrow definition of beauty. TMZ.com also posted a recent picture of the Hero's starlet, Hayden Panettiere, 21, with cellulite visible on her backside. You might also remember her from "Remember the Titans" where she played the part of the Coach's adorable daughter. I hate for these girls that they have to contend with paparazzi aiming a camera lens at them at all times, but maybe it will begin to break down the culture's lie regarding beauty. I hope our daughters (and sons) are paying attention: Women come in all shapes and sizes and cellulite is normal.

On a related note, the comments coming in on the TMZ.com post (874 to date), range from "You go girl!" to "Ewwww....put on a sarong!" to even some that are so evil, they leave you wondering if the rapture is right around the corner. (I would not recommend reading the comments or showing them to your daughters--TMZ.com should be a banned site on every home computer).