Is TTYL on your school library book shelves?

Several of my Virtue Alert readers brought an issue to my attention several weeks ago that has been getting quite a bit of media attention in Round Rock, Texas (which just so happens to be a neighboring community of my hometown of Austin, Texas). In a nutshell, several parents upon discovering the book, ttyl in their child's middle school library began a campaign to have the book removed due to highly objectionable content that they argued (and I agree) is inappropriate for middle school aged children. I should note that this book has been on the shelves for several years, but wasn't contested until now. As a side note, there are other books by this same author that are being disputed in other schools districts.

The concerned parents appealed to school administrators by presenting a petition with nearly 2000 signatures supporting the removal of the book or at the very least, the need to develop a labeling system that would tip students (and parents) off to books that contain objectionable content. Mind you, the book portrays the lives of a group of girls in high school, yet has been made available to children in middle school, some as young as 11-12 years old (6th grade).

Sadly, in spite of the efforts of this group of concerned parents, the reconsideration committee voted 5-4 this past week to keep the book on the shelves in the middle school libraries. I should also note that our local news stations reporting on the story mentioned that another school district had removed the book from middle schools upon being made aware of the offensive content, so the efforts of this group of parents were not entirely in vain. I also discovered that the book is available in middle schools in Austin, but has not been challenged (to my knowledge). Sigh.

But here is where the story gets downright humorous. This is the statement the Round Rock, Texas school released regarding the decision to keep the book on the shelves:

"Parents have the right to limit the type of books their child has access to and can do so by speaking with the school librarian. A parent does not have the right to limit what other children have access to... only their own."

I say the statement is humorous because I am picturing nearly 2000 parents requesting to speak with the school librarian. And then I am trying to picture the school librarian somehow developing a reasonable strategy to uphold this ridiculous assurance given by the school. Hmmm...., did they really think that one through?! Why is it that parents who are committed to protecting the innocence of their children are often penalized in an effort to protect the rights of children whose parents could care less (or are clueless) about what their kids are exposed to? Don't we support the public schools with our tax dollars, too?

As if that statement wasn't absurd enough, the news reporter covering the story interviewed a mother who said something to the effect of this: "You know, our kids are exposed to this kind of stuff every day so what's the big deal if they read about it." Congratulations Ma'am, you just made it onto my list of wimpy parents. Let me guess -- you're also planning to host all the liquor parties at your house in the future as a "safe alternative" because our kids are all destined to drink anyway, right?

When this story came to my attention weeks ago, I asked one of my staff members to take a look at the book and report back with her thoughts on the content. The rest of this post is a book review of ttyl by Virtuous Reality staff member, Jamie Lamb. After reading it, you might want to check with your middle school and see if it's on the shelves in your school library. Here is Jamie's review:

I came to the conclusion many years ago that no matter what we do for a living, we should all have to take the Hippocratic Oath which states, in short, “First, do no harm.” So if you are an actor, a doctor, a teacher, a scientist, a mom, a writer, a pastor, an artist, etc…please use your powers for good and not for evil. After reading this book, I have come to the conclusion that it does a considerable amount of harm, especially in the hearts and minds of our girls. It does absolutely nothing to make the world a better place.

ttyl is a novel written in IM speak which consists of excerpts from the lives of three sophomore girls who are trying to hold onto their friendship while navigating high school. The most offensive conversations in the book have to do with a whole lot of talk about sex (of course), being seduced by a teacher who calls himself a Christian, teens getting drunk, lots of cussing and crass conversation, gossip, back stabbing, and poor family relationships The girls’ are short on character, a danger to themselves and each other and their relationships are shallow and sad.

Below are some excerpts from the book if you want a clearer picture of what we’re talking about. I’ve disguised some of the more offensive words to keep the p@rn googlers from landing on this page. Before reading the excerpts, I want you to keep something in mind. Part of the statement released by school officials in Round Rock was this: "Librarians use book review journals to determine which books should be purchased and for what grade levels. In particular, ttyl had high ratings and was recommended for grades 5 and up," wrote RRISD Director of Community Relations JoyLynn Occhiuzzi."

Pgs. 6 & 7 – “SnowAngel: ROB TYLER is in my French class!!!...on Friday we have to do “une dialogue” together, I get to ask for a bite of his hot dog…and tonight when I do my homework, I get to fantasize about his summer sausage. *nudge, nudge, wink, wink*”
Page 7: (talking about teacher mr. h) - “did he stare at your b@@bs?..... so watch out. he makes a big deal of being all Christian, but what that means is the he’s majorly sexually repressed. whereas I, on the other hand, am not…”
Page 10: Honestly, I can’t even bring myself to type the offensive text on this page. Suffice it to say that it has to do w/ talk of orga@m in a language so graphic that it is better suited for a porn publication.
Page 15: “she said he got a total stiffie while they were talking. she said it was hysterical”
Page 59: “WTF”
Page 65: “rob is being a total p#$is-head"
Page 115: “what about mr. h? angela said that’s why you got those new jeans, to get him all hot and bothered….. did he jump your b@nes?”
Page 139: “put on cr@#chless panties and do a lap dance for him”
Page 145: (after discussing the porn site jesus.com)…“jana especially liked the endorsements section, where he gives his lubricant rec in 12 tasty flavors.”
Page 151: after discussing getting drunk at a frat party and taking her shirt and bra off…“Holy f&*^….”
Page 165: “F&*^.. did you tell her everything”… “ur not a wh@re”… “just like you’re not a lying b!#ch, stay out of my f&*^ing business.”
Page 174: (discussing hot tub attire after a male teacher invites her to join him at a residence he is house sitting)... “we haven’t even discussed your thong possibilities!”
Page 176: “jana sent pictures…. from that frat party.. she was n@ked from the waist up…subject line was ‘le$b0 slut’… sh@#, sh@#, SH@#….”
Page 186: “did mr. h talk about your bikini again? did he make any moves when u were in the car together?”
Page 205: “AND he” (Mr. H) “was wearing a speedo, which made it doubly horrific.”

The really sad thing about this book is that I (Jamie) kept getting flashes of real girls’ faces in my head. As someone who has worked in girls’ ministry for over a decade, I know there really are girls in our high schools that share some of the same problems as the characters in the book. The big difference is that when you get to know the real girls, they tend to be depressed and sometimes suicidal. They play with cutting and eating disorders because they feel like nobody in the world really loves them. They certainly aren’t happy-go-lucky and ok with the way their lives are playing out, but the author never shows this reality.

As for the author…I started out being so angry with her for the damage she’s doing in the name of fame or fortune or whatever drives her, but toward the end I just got sad for her too. Maybe she really thinks this is all ok, but someday she’ll be held accountable for her words and the impact they have had on many impressionable girls. I can’t imagine her soul is doing all that well if this book is a reflection of what resides in her heart. Matthew 15:18 reminds us, “But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean.’”

With this in mind, here is my suggested plan of action:

• First, we pray. We pray for the kids in our schools that are dying without hope because they don’t know Jesus. We pray for authors who are a danger to their readers because they don’t know better.

• Second, we talk. If you have daughters, nieces, girls you care about, find out if they have read or heard of this book and then have the necessary conversation. I guarantee they will think this is normal high school behavior unless we help them filter it through a biblical lens.

• Third, we do something about it. Go to your school library and see if it’s on the shelves. Bring it to the attention of whoever is in charge and talk with them about pulling it, but please assume the best and present your argument in a spirit of love. Don’t go charging in there like a harpy with her hair on fire. Nobody listens to harpies.

In conclusion, consider this thought-provoking one-star book review by a TTYL reader on Amazon.com:

In the future, robot archaeologists will be sifting through the rubble of a long dead human civilization, patiently searching for the ultimate cause of mankind's extinction. After sifting through the remains of our fallen society, searching through libraries and the streets of ghost towns and the insides of long-dead computers, they will eventually find the horrific shout that set off the avalanche that would destroy us.

They will find TTYL. It will be the first time a robot weeps.

Edmund Burke once said, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Will you do something?

(UPDATE TO POST: 11-2-08) I have been away from my computer this weekend (no Internet at my lake house!) and came home to comments in my inbox from the author of ttyl, as well as some of her readers. To my understanding, she has made this post available on her site or offered a link, so I expect that other readers may trickle in. For that reason, I believe it's important that those who are not regular visitors to this blog understand the purpose of VirtueAlert.com.

As I have stated before on this blog, the purpose of Virtue Alert is not to be a forum of debate on sensitive topics between the general public and my regular blog readership. Rather its purpose is to be an aid to help keep concerned, like-minded parents in the loop on topics that may conflict with our mission to raise our children in the Christian faith, according to biblical priciples set forth in the Bible. I will not make any exceptions when it comes to deviating from the purpose of this blog. For that reason, I will post the comments that I have received from the author and her readers (barring a handful that I deem to be inappropriate due to language) and then I will close comments to this post once I have posted this update.

I find it discouraging that any time a Christian states an opinion that differs in principle from someone else's, Matthew 7:1 is often cited. That passage is often misunderstood and refers to "hypocritical judgment" which in order for it to apply in this case, would mean that I had written books similar in nature to ttyl, yet judged another for the same act. My purpose in posting on the controversey surrounding ttyl was to alert parents to something that they may deem to be harmful to their middle-school aged children...not other people's children, but their children. In other words, I am calling attention to an issue for the purpose of putting it on a parent's radar. After that, the parent can decide for themselves what to do about it. Never did I call for a "book ban" and as an author, I am certainly sensitve to the censorship of books.

The issue at hand in this post (as far as I am concerned) is a parent's right to know what their child is reading (a labeling system would solve this problem) and to question the appropriate age of readership for this book. If the backcover states that it's for girls 14 and older (as one commenter states), then why is it being offered in middle school libraries? I stand by my staff member's review and general concensus that the book is inappropriate for middle school aged children. To those who argue that we should make any and all reading material available to our children and let them decide what they read, surely you would agree that that is a very slippery slope. Should public school libraries also include porn publications? There has to be a standard in place and that is what is being questioned here.

I personally do not see any merit to exposing young girls to overly-graphic sexually salacious material when other means could be implemented to illustrate the point or teachable moment. For those of us who are raising our children by principles set forth in the Bible, this type of unnecessary discourse falls under Ephesians 5:3-4 and we consider it to be "fruitless" for our children to be exposed to such banter, especially when there are so many other fabulous books of true literary quality available to read (including To Kill A Mockingbird). That is our right as parents to have such a standard in place. Just as the critics have stated that those of us who disagree cannot limit the rights of others, the same is true for those of us who do not want our children reading such books. You cannot decide for us what is acceptable for our children and we have every right to know if the material is questionable in nature. In a world where so many parents are clueless to what their children are exposed to, I would think we would get some credit even from our critics for being caring, engaged parents. :)

Again, this is not a matter of "censorship" or a call for a "book banning." This is a matter of parents' rights and an expectation that those who have contact with our children respect and honor our rights. As I mentioned before, we pay the same amount in taxes as any other parent when we send our children to the public schools and our rights should be considered. Should a parent wish to allow their daughter in middle school (or younger) to read books of this nature, so be it. I respect their right to do so, and I in turn, expect that they will in turn, respect my right that I do not wish to make the book available to my child.

When it comes to criticism, I sincercely try to live my life by Romans 12:8 (If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.) The ttyl book review is one of many "virtue alert" topics on this blog and in an effort to move onto other topics of interest as well as uphold the original overall purpose of this blog, comments are officially closed. I have nothing at all against the author and never even mentioned her in my original post. My argument is with the appropriateness of the book being offered in public middle school libraries or at the very least, the need for a labeling system to aid parents in their determination of whether or not a book is age-appriate for their particular child.

Prepare to lose all respect for me

I don't know what's more amazing about this picture...that we got through the photo shoot without suffering any puncture wounds from Lexi, the bipolar Pit-Yorkie or the fact that I was able to somehow convince my husband to risk his life by holding her in place. Can you tell which one Lexi is?















Once we finished, we realized that we had forgotten to put Scout's football helmet on, but as you can tell, Lexi was pretty much done with the whole shoot. If your tween daughter has read either of my Between magabooks, be sure to show her the pictures because I have written about the dogs in both issues. And yeah, that's basically how I justified this shallow purchase...at least to my husband. When he was reading over the credit card statement, he asked, "What is 'Spirit Paws costume apparel?'", and being the quick-thinker that I am, I totally blamed it on my young reading audience. Trust me folks, it's no accident that Sharpay's dog in High School Musical is a Yorkie. As you can see, they are total eye-candy.


Happy Halloween!

Orlando: You and Your Girl, HSM3, and Disney World!

Arriving at the airport w/ Lindsey Kane and Bethany Dillon

Paige and her friend Morgan get to meet Bethany!





















Wow! It was a crazy, fun-filled weekend in Orlando. The You and Your Girl event began on Friday night with a Bethany Dillon concert and unfortunately, my daughter and her friend who were flying in from Atlanta, missed the concert due to flight delays! They showed up in time to meet Bethany back in the green room which helped temper some of their disappointment. Saturday was a full day and I loved meeting the wonderful moms and girls and having my daughter alongside me to enjoy it!

I was pretty wiped out after the event ended at 4 p.m., but I had to get my energy up for.....High School Musical 3 on Saturday night! Woo-hoo! Go Wildcats! Troy + Gabriella = 2 getha, 4 eva! (I think I need some adult time)

Score!


Heading over to Universal Studios











Waiting for dinner




TMI? In the ladies' room before the movie started--no bathroom breaks once the curtain goes up!





The next day, we headed to Disney World and rode the Tower of Terror and the Rockin' Roller Coaster a bazillion times. (Note to self: Never ride Tower of Terror right after lunch). We had a great day and the weather was beautiful. After that, it was off to the airport where I hugged Paige's neck and she and her sweet friend, Morgan, caught a flight to Atlanta and then drove back to Auburn. I began my long journey back to Austin and fell into my bed about 1 a.m. this morning. I tell ya, it's hard work keeping up with these kids, but I'd do it all over again...just give me a couple weeks to recover!

Maybe their next field trip could be a visit to Planned Parenthood

Perhaps you heard the buzz last week about a class of San Francisco first-graders who went (or shall I say, "were taken") on a field trip to City Hall to toss rose petals on their just-married lesbian teacher. The story is so unbelievable that when I heard about it, there is no way to describe what I was feeling other than to say that it just plain made my heart hurt. Granted, I know we're talking San Francisco here, but I can't imagine that many parents would approve of their first grader taking a field trip during school hours to witness their teacher's heterosexual marriage, much less expose them to a scenario they are far too young to comprehend.

Heck, I was upset when the librarian at the grammar school my children attended felt it was her duty to drop the bombshell to my son's kindergarten class and announced that there was no such thing as Santa Claus while reading them a Christmas book. That was hard enough for my five year-old child to process at the time, so I can't begin to imagine the confusion these first-graders must be feeling after being used as innocent pawns in a gay-marriage demonstration.

I encourage you to hop over to this article on SFGate.com (The San Francisco Chronicle) and watch the video clip in the left margin while you're there. The teacher states in the video clip, "I really hope that all the children of the world and the future generations understand and see how beautiful love is and no matter who's getting married, it's a beautiful blessed union and that right should be afforded to everyone." A union "blessed" by who, I wonder? Mayor Gavin Newsom? Friends, let's be honest here. Their union is not blessed by God. We can't afford to dance around this issue any longer or for that matter, remain silent. We need to teach our children to have a proper understanding of God's design for marriage, all the while encouraging them to have a love and compassion for those who don't.

For those of us who acknowledge that marriage is an institution created by God, OH MY WORD, this should inspire us to step up our game and ensure that our children clearly understand God's design for marriage. While I doubt that our children will be subjected to such a blatant form of indoctrination, they will no doubt, be exposed to the same-sex marriage controversy at some level on down the road. While I am sad that the innocence of a group of first graders was robbed to support a viewpoint that is quite frankly difficult for many adults to swallow, I am on the other hand, grateful for this teachable moment. It inspired me to sit my 10th grader down and read the article and watch the clip together. We then contrasted it to the Genesis 2:18-24 account in God's Holy Word to see how it lined up. He was clearly shocked and floored by the video clip of the ceremony and particularly, the teacher's cavalier use of the phrase, "blessed union." I guess you could say that the original purpose of the field trip being a "teachable moment" (as stated by the school's interim director) was accomplished....even in my home.

So, what about you? Has your child been exposed to the same-sex marriage issue at some level? If so, weigh in and tell us your child's age (at the time) and how you responded to it. If your child is 13 or older, consider using the article and clip as a teachable moment. Again, let me encourage you to also model a love and compassion for those who disagree with God's design for marriage. This is a hot topic among Christian youth and many have been desensitized to the culture's PC brand of "tolerance." This article would be a good springboard with your teen to find out where he/she stands on the issue.

We have winners!

Did you enter the give-away for one of five signed copies of Five Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter? If so, check out the post (click here) for a list of the five winners! Thank you to all who entered for your sweet and encouraging comments!

Hollywood's distorted view of beauty

If you have a daughter, hop over here to the 5 Conversations blog to read about a recent news story that highlights fallout from the culture's narrow definition of beauty.

Life is a rock...

Have I ever mentioned that my kids were raised on tunes from the 70's and 80's (aka: The Oldies)? Well this, my friends, is one of many side-effects that can occur if one exposes their children at an early age to quality music. Not a single member of my family can sing, but we sure like to pretend that we can. We are the lip-syncing Van Trapp family, but for the record, we prefer Journey over Edelweiss.

What's funny, is that every member of my family possesses the "spontaneous dance party" gene. This gene lies dormant until a particular 70's or 80's tune beckons it out of hiding and the end result is well, what you see above. Such was the case last night when I was working on my Orlando messages for this weekend and listening to my Oldies playlist on iTunes. Hayden came in to tell me goodnight and yeah, you see what can happen if the timing of a goodnight kiss just so happens to coincide with "Life Is A Rock."

When our impromptu concert ended, we decided to film it and send it off to his brother and sister as a sort of "we miss you" salutation. The file was too large to send by email, so Hayden had the grand idea of posting it here. Oh, and for the record, I actually DO know the lyrics to the song up through the first chorus, even though as you can see, I'm a bit rusty in this performance. My 8th grade best friend Kara and I stayed up all night at a summer sleepover and played the single over and over again until we got it down. We didn't have the luxury of "googling" the lyrics, so be impressed. Clearly, we had way too much time on our hands.

When my kids were little, I would play this song in the car and chant the first part to calm them down on many occasions. I can't imagine why it left them speechless. And here's a little secret: Paige can sing the first part too, so maybe when she's home over the Thanksgiving holidays....

The journey to manhood, one Homecoming dance at a time

This past weekend was the big Homecoming dance for my last remaining child in the nest. In years prior, most of my time has been devoted to getting the girl-child ready, so this year was a breeze. It didn't really dawn on me how much easier the Homecoming preparation process is for a guy until we were a couple hours out and my son announced that he was going to take a nap. Huh? Shouldn't he be soaking in a tub or clipping his toenails or something? I kid you not, he woke up 30 minutes prior to leaving, showered, put on his duds, and voila, we walked out the door. Oh wait, five of those minutes was spent playing a video game with his friend who came over to hitch a ride. Let me put this into perspective for you: It took me longer to get ready to take him to Homecoming than it did for him to go to Homecoming. That's just messed up...

On our way out the door, I started to get a tad sentimental about Hayden looking more young-mannish than boyish this year. Look, you know they're growing up (and you're getting old) when the baby starts shaving. But Keith helped temper the moment and ward off any pending tears when he yelled out the door behind us, "Hayden, if you wad up your new tie and put it in your pocket like you did last year, I'm going to make you pay me back, okay?" It definitely helped to put things into perspective.

This year, he and most of his friends (including the girls) decided to go as a group so they could enjoy mixing and mingling at the dance. There was a classic moment after the pictures were taken when the group of about thirty guys and girls were trudging up the hill to make their way across the street to the restaurant. Noticing that the girls were having a particularly hard time mastering the uphill trudge in 3-4 inch spike heels (imagine that!), one mother yelled out to the guys, "Hey guys, help the girls out!" One of Hayden's good buddies responded by announcing to the girls, "If any of the girls need help getting up the hill, I can carry your shoes!" Finally, the guys seemed to get the hint and rushed to the aid of the young ladies in peril, offering their arms for assistance.










For entertainment purposes, I included my Homecoming picture when I was Hayden's same age (sophomore). For heaven's sake, why didn't someone take me aside and do a curling iron intervention?! This picture was obviously taken before our dates stripped off their ties and put them in their pockets at the dance...

Do you know what today is?

Hop over to the 5 Conversations blog to find out! (Click here for a link)

Flying the not-so-friendly skies

Is it just me, or have people gotten ruder than normal when it comes to the unspoken rules of airplane etiquette? I've been doing a lot of traveling lately and here is a sampling of what I have witnessed over the last several weeks:

• A cell phone yacker who upon being told to hang up by the flight attendant, gave her the one-more-minute signal. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt and wondered if perhaps the call was some sort of emergency until I heard this concluding statement to the other party: "Okay, I'll call you back when we land but as far as I'm concerned, he's not invited to the wedding." Ma'am, can I just say that on behalf of myself and the 100+ other passengers on the plane, we are sure glad you were able to resolve your family matter even if it meant delaying our flight a few minutes.

• Or then there was the man who I-kid-you-not, got up out of his seat and screamed, "What the h*** do you think you're doing?" when another passenger dared to readjust his bag in the overhead bin before taking his seat in the row in front of him. Oh, but that's not all folks. He then wrenched his bag from the guy's hand and punched him in the shoulder! The victim was a man traveling with a baby and a toddler who was simply trying to find an accessible spot in the bin for his diaper bag. I was about four rows back and amazed at how the man handled the arm punch. He calmly turned to the older gentleman, pointed to the row behind him and said, "Sir, you best sit down in your seat before I decide to give you what you deserve." Fortunately, Mr. Hothead took his seat before he ended up as tomorrow's headlines.
  

• Or how about the young guy who while in the process of boarding and moving down the aisle to find an available seat, sighed heavily when the woman in front of him (twice his age) dared to hold up the line while trying to load her heavy bag into the overhead bin? Finally, a gentleman who was seated rose to the occasion to help her. I was one millisecond shy of screaming, "Are you kidding me? Are both your arms broken or are you just rude?"

• And finally, the straw that broke the camel's back and inspired this post: The two burly men on either side of me who took over the armrests, poking their elbows a good four inches into MY middle seat territory. For the record, their burliness did not prohibit them from confining themselves to their assigned space and had that been the case, I would have been more empathetic. No, these guys had assumed the default armchair recliner position that is standard among guys watching Monday night football. The only thing missing was the remote control in their laps. I half expected them to ask me to bring them a tray of hot buffalo wings at some point during the flight. It was a miserable two-hour flight and at one point the guy on my left actually flashed me an annoyed expression when I dropped my tray to work on my laptop because it bumped his elbow when I pulled the tray toward me. Hint, hint, Mister!
  

And so it got me thinking. With rumors that in-air cell phone use will be allowed at some point in the near future as well as in-flight Wi-Fi access (currently being offered on some American Airlines flights), what in the world will we (or our children) unwillingly be subjected to in the future? While I would like to give folks the benefit of the doubt and assume they would show some self-restraint and behave themselves accordingly, this last few weeks of travel has left me with some doubts. Clearly, there is a real-and-present segment of the population that appears to believe they are the center of the Universe. Wouldn't it be great if we could put them all on the same flight together? Now, there's a reality show I'd actually watch!

So, what's your biggest pet peeve when it comes to airplane etiquette?

Family reunion Auburn-style

The Courtney clan including the Courtney grandparents!


Mama is reunited w/ her college kids!

Paige and her roommate attend the First Baptist Opelika event








Hayden makes himself at home in Ryan's apt.



Some very special Auburn friends!






At the game while AU was still winning...



At church w/ my best friend










At Paige's sorority initiation banquet

I met a new friend who follows the blog and we discovered our girls are in the same pledge class!








I am back from my whirlwind trip to Auburn where I was finally reunited at long-last with my two college kids after a two month separation. I arrived on Thursday to do a ladies' event at First Baptist/Opelika and had such a great time. Paige, Ryan, and some of their friends converged upon my hotel room to greet me that afternoon and in spite of the fact that I really needed to look over my notes for the message I was to give a few hours later, I found myself saying, "Let's go to Starbucks--my treat!" What in the world? Paige had told me that she would not be able to attend the event because it was initiation week for her sorority and she had mandatory activities scheduled each night, but she got clearance to go at the last minute from the senior officers! Never mind that she called me on my cell phone minutes before the event began to tell me that she and her roommate were going to be a few minutes late because they couldn't find her car in the parking garage!

Friday morning, I had breakfast with some Auburn moms who have become dear friends to me (picture above). Upon hearing that my son was attending Auburn a couple of years ago, they offered to be "on-call-home-away-from-home" mamas to my Auburn kids. They deserve a blog post of their own, but suffice it to say that they are some very special ladies. After that, Paige was out of class and we met up to engage in our favorite bonding activity: SHOPPING! At lunch, we met up with her brother (who was not interested in shopping) and were reunited with the rest of the family who was just arriving into town.

The rest of the weekend was jam-packed with the UT game at Ryan's apartment (Hook-em horns!), the Auburn tailgate and game that immediately followed (cough, cough on that painful loss). We capped the weekend off with church the next morning and a parent banquet on Sunday evening hosted by Paige's sorority. As hard as it was to say good-bye, it was easier to do so after seeing evidence that they are thriving and growing in their faith. I'll get to see Paige again in a couple of weeks at the You and Your Girl event in Orlando and after that, I have Thanksgiving and Christmas break to look forward to. I've already decided that I will return in the early spring to break up the long stretch between Christmas and Spring Break because I just don't think I can do another long two month stretch again. In fact, I know I can't!

As for the last child remaining in the nest, we went out shopping last night for something to wear to the Homecoming dance this weekend. When he emerged from the dressing room, it just about did me in. As I looked at this strikingly handsome young man standing before me, I had to choke back some tears. It was a reminder to treasure every single moment that remains in this season where he is entrusted to my direct care. Never mind that after spending every night with his big brother during the Auburn visit, he announced to my husband and me on the return flight home that he wants to graduate high school early and get a jump-start on college....at Auburn....far, far away from home. I think you know the answer to that request... :)

Allow me to introduce you to...

Update: We have winners! Shawna will be contacting you (unless you read it here first!). Here are the five winners from the random number generator:

155 - anonymous - cwright@kc.rr.com
179 - Dawn Ward - http://www.dawnward.net/ - dawn@dawnward.net
79 - Kelly Pack - http://jonandkellypack.blogspot.com/
227 - Beth Stephenson - stephenson90@verizon.net
135 - Lauren = iloveelvisandblue@yahoo.com

Thank you to all who entered and your kind and congratulatory words!


...my newest addition: 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter! It's finally here! My author copy arrived on my doorstop yesterday afternoon! Now, I have to tell you that I had a tiny clue of the pending arrival when one of YOU commented on the DVD taping post yesterday and told me that you pre-ordered the book two months ago and that UPS had just dropped it off on YOUR doorstop! BEFORE I EVEN GOT MY COPY, so go figure!! So yeah, I kinda waited and waited for the doorbell to ring and finally around 5:30 p.m. it arrived!

It's always an exciting moment when you see a book you've written for the first time, but I have looked more forward to this release than any other, except for maybe my first ever book (Your Girl). This book is the result of a decade spent in the trenches of ministry to girls and mothers as well as a reflection of my own journey in raising a daughter in a challenging culture. Writing it was a purging of sorts and I thought of other fellow moms with daughters throughout the entire process. I had such a burden to share my observations with other mothers and rally the troops to come together as a mighty force to dispel the culture's lies. Another reason this book is so special to me is that the timing of the release couldn't be more ironic. Never mind, that the tagline on the back cover is: "From the cradle to college, tell your daughters the truth about life before they believe the culture's lies." And never mind that the book just so happened to release weeks after I dropped my only daughter off to college.

Thank you for celebrating this release with me. I love my blog friends, every smackin' one of you. Also, I want to call your attention to the icon at the top right-hand margin of this blog that says "5 Conversations." It's a blog that goes along with the book! I have kept it a secret until the book release (near killed me), but it was created to offer a gathering place for readers of both the book and the Bible study (which releases in May, 2009). In the book, readers are routed to the blog at the end of each "Conversation" to weigh in and offer their own wisdom and insight. If we're going to change the tide of this decadent culture, we have to have a place to connect and encourage one another in the call to raise daughters, right? Go by and visit, surf around, and bookmark the blog for the future. I'll be updating it on a regular basis with content related to each of the 5 Conversations covered in the book. Who knows, we may even have ourselves one of them thar' online book clubs in the days to come!

Tell you what, in honor of this special day, let's do a give-away! I'm totally making the rules up as I type, so how about you leave a comment (w/ email address if you don't have a blog ID) and let me know who you would give this book to if you win it and how many daughters this special mother has and their ages (girls, not mom!). Of course, if you have a daughter, it can be YOU. We'll draw five names in one week and each will get a signed copy. Ready, set, go!

UPDATE: Due to my busy travel schedule, we will draw for winners first thing Monday morning, October 20th and announce them on this post as well as the weekly Virtue Alert e-letter.

Miley's sweet 16 navel piercing?

Hmmm.... please tell me that Miley is sporting a giant clump of belly button lint in the picture on the right. Maybe you missed this story yesterday with all the other news stories related to other noteworthy topics like say, a Presidential debate. The celebrity blogs were covering the topics that really matter (insert sarcasm here) and were abuzz with the new Miley-mania rumor of a purported navel piercing (the above photo was allegedly snapped at her Sweet 16 birthday celebration at Disneyland). Mind you, it is just a rumor at this point and keep in mind that anything can be digitally doctored on a picture in this day and age.

Regardless of whether the rumor proves to be truth or fiction (and based on this girl's age alone, I sure hope it's fiction), it got me thinking all the same. I actually thought the navel piercing hoopla was over, a sad reminder of the Britney, Lindsey, Paris and Nicole Ritchie days of non-stop pantie-flashing, prison, and rehab relay. In fact, now that I think about it, it's been a good year or so since I've even received a concerned note from a mother about her daughter (teen or otherwise) expressing a desire to get her navel pierced. For a good while there, it seemed like I was getting notes of the navel-piercing persuasion almost weekly.

So I'm just curious--Is it still a pressing issue among girls or has it simply been replaced by bigger issues and relegated to a list of "battles not worth fighting"? I have been very opinionated on this issue in the past, but I have to admit that I have met several young women in ministry (gasp!) who are pierced (navel or tiny nose stud) and they desperately love the Lord. They were all of adult age (college or older) when they made their decisions and they didn't in any way flaunt their piercings. Some of these girls have worked on my staff or interned for me in the past. Of course, they were always faithful to keep their midriffs covered and I would have never known their secret had it not come up in casual conversation.

My personal opinion is that the trend is a repercussion of the sexualization of young women in our culture today. I further believe that many Christian girls have become unknowingly desensitized to trends like this based on the constant barrage of sexualizing messages they are exposed to on a daily basis. Many innocently rationalize (like the girls I have worked with) that it as nothing more than a trendy form of self-expression. To some the expression is, "Hey, look how edgy I can be and still love Jesus." To others it says, "I'm all about following the trends and this is what girls my age do." And for others who may be less secure, it may say, "Hey guys, look and enjoy. If this is the only kind of attention I can get, I'll take it. And then some." The problem is, many girls fail to recognize that regardless of their actual underlying motive, the male persuasion reads much more into a navel piercing than a trendy fashion statement. Even celebrity blogger, Perez Hilton who posted the above Miley rumor on his blog, had this to say:

And so it begins!!!

It all starts to go downhill with a belly ring!!!

Miley Cyrus showed off a new navel piercing at her big 16th birthday bash at Disneyland on Sunday.

Getting your belly button pierced isn't exactly "wholesome" is it????

What's next???

We give her three months before pictures of her boozin' it up or smoking a joint hit the Net!

- Perez Hilton.

I find it interesting that he matter-of-factly makes the statement, "Getting your belly button pierced isn't exactly "wholesome" is it????" His statement assumes that this fact (navel piercing = unwholesome) is common knowledge among the general public and discounts any other motive that someone might have for getting their navel pierced. For the life of me, I don't personally get what the appeal is to the whole navel-piercing thing, but I'll be the first to admit that I can often be an old, fuddy-dud traditionalist who sees far beyond the moment of decision and wonders what all these piercings and tats will look like in a nursing home, someday. And as a side-note, can I be so bold as to make an appeal to my pierced sisters to put the barbell navel studs away before you hit the Depends years? (I think I just heard a loud chorus of "Amens" coming from nursing home caregivers)

Oh, to go back to the 50's when a parent's greatest worry was over Elvis' pelvic gyrations and their teen's desire to emulate them. But all joking aside, allow me to admit that had navel piercing been the trend in my pre-Christian teen and college years and the decision had been entirely left up to me, who knows, you might find a tarnished barbell navel stud in my jewelry box (double gasp!). My knack for thinking past the moment and pondering the long-term consequences was not something I developed until I was well into my adult years and had children of my own. Even though a navel piercing was not on my list of teen transgressions, there were plenty of other opportunities for me to learn the value of thinking past the moment. And when I consider my track record, clearly, I was a very slow learner.

If only I had learned the value of thinking past the moment with the notorious spiral perm experience of 6th grade. A close runner-up to the perm debacle is a Homecoming picture I recently found from 10th grade. Who knows, if I get bold enough, I may post it for comic relief purposes. I'm sporting orange-tinged hair with exposed roots and bless my heart, even the ginormous mum complete with dangling cowbells fails to distract from this hair atrocity. A picture says a thousand words and this one says, "Don't spend your summer by the poolside with a spray bottle of Sun-In. Think past the moment, Vicki. Think past the moment." Unfortunately, I suffered far greater consequences from other hap-hazard decisions made (non hair-related) in those years and so I am reminded that all but for the grace of God go I.

So, I'm curious. What do you think about the whole navel piercing topic?

Behind-the-scenes at the 5 Conversations taping

Thank you so much for your prayers during the taping last week for 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter. I flew in late Monday evening for a Tuesday morning meeting with the stylist. At first, I was a bit nervous about someone picking out clothes for me, but by the end of the week, I was begging sweet Heather to move to Austin and be my new best friend. The best friend part was critical because I can't pay her for her fashion advice, so it would have to come on the side when we go on bff shopping trips. Little did I know that Melanie (aka: fellow blogger, BigMama) had already invited her to relocate to San Antonio to meet her own selfish fashion needs. :) We were able to use pieces from my own wardrobe which is a good thing, since I hauled half the contents from my closet to Nashville. My suitcase was 49 pounds, people--one lb. under the limit. For the record, BigMama's bag required it's own plane ticket it was so large. Oh, I kid. Sort of.

Tuesday night was a relaxing dinner hosted by our amazing producer, April Dace and drumroll please.... Kelly Minter! As many of you know, Kelly is the author of an amazing Bible study, "No Other Gods: Confronting Our Modern Day Idols." She also happens to be the owner of the home where the taping occurred and get this: She's only lived in the house for six weeks! April co-owns the house with her and on top of being new homeowners, some of that six weeks was spent out of the country on mission endeavors. Are they gluttons for punishment, or what?

I'm certainly not complaining because it was the perfect setting for a casual and cozy feel. The only things missing were my two Yorkies sitting at my feet and a box of Cheez-Its on the end table beside me. I assured Kelly that my home was available for any Bible study taping in her future as long as it was shot on a Wednesday sometime in the four hour window beginning the moment the maid walks out the door and wrapping prior to Hayden walking through the door after school and dumping a trail of belongings from the front door to the pantry. As a bonus, I offered up the Yorkies as props, but she declined.

Wednesday morning came fast and after make-up, we were all set to start taping. Jeannie, our make-up artist used to work on the set of Hee-Haw, which basically means that she is an expert when it comes to big Texas hair. Never mind that I was having hair issues on day one of our taping. She instantly read my distress signals (heavy sighing in front of the mirror while holding a giant can of Shaper hairspray as I silenty tossed up a flair hair prayer). She spoke compassionate words of understanding which instantly bonded us as sisters, pulled out her teasing comb and did her magic. After that, we all had a word of prayer on the set (about the study, not my hair) and the taping was underway.

The last time I did a taping for a Bible study (Your Girl), I stood solo in front of a green screen and talked to two cameras that were manned by a couple of guys that looked to be about the same age as my oldest son. I'm pretty sure that by the girl politics session they had each jotted down a note to self: Never have girls. As a side note, the counterpart study to the Your Girl study for moms is a study for middle and high school girls called His Girl and Kelly Minter does a few of the teaching sessions. (Click on any of the above study titles to get more information) Seriously, I think I owe this gal a fruit basket...

This taping was a completely different experience and so much more comfortable, since I was talking to fellow moms with daughters. Each of the participants, Melanie (aka: BigMama), Chris, Melissa, and Karen were carefully hand-picked to represent mothers with girls from pre-school to high school. Unlike my last study that was geared to moms with teen girls, this one will bring together moms with girls from cradle to college and if that thought doesn't make you smile, I don't know what will. We all clicked from the word "action" and the ladies contributed wonderful insights during each of the sessions. We finished taping the main sessions on Wednesday and had a relaxing dinner together that evening. (As a side-note, Melanie has posted about her experience in the taping over here, complete with more pictures!)

It was back to work on Thursday (a much better hair day, btw), but I hardly saw my new friends. They had individual interviews for bonus footage back at the house and I headed in a different direction to do the outros (short wrap-ups at the end of each session). Seven outfit changes and three locations later, it was a wrap. It was nearly a 12 hour day and I certainly have a whole new appreciation for the behind the scenes folks who pull it all together. They were truly an amazing crew from start to finish. One of the funniest moments came when we showed up at one of the outro locations which just so happened to be a clothing boutique with some of the cutest clothes I have ever seen in my life. While the guys were setting up their stuff, every female in our group was SHOPPING. I plucked a shirt right off the rack that was love at first sight and with stylist approval, wore it for the next outro take. And yes, I bought it! In fact, several of us bought items which probably relieved any second doubts the shop owner may have had for closing down her shop for the shoot.

It was a blessing to work with such amazing people and I am so grateful to LifeWay for believing in this study. As I stated in the DVD introduction of the study, I am praying that 5 Conversations will be more than just a six-week Bible study. I am praying it will be a call to action for mothers with daughters to come together and say, "Enough is enough. It's time for change."

I'm alive...barely.

The taping for the 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter Bible study is a wrap! (Try saying that one five times really fast.) There is so much to tell you about the experience, but honestly I'm too tired to do the topic justice for now. I plan to post about it next week with lots of fun pictures that will give you a behind the scenes look at what goes on to produce a Bible study (which suffice it to say, is ALOT!). Bottom line, it was an amazing experience and I'm praying that God will use the finished product for His good and glory. I'm told it will release in May, 2009.

I'm in my hotel room right now and after a breakfast meeting in the morning, I will head back to Austin. For now, enjoy the brief clip I took while on the set. The participants in my small group were AMAZING and I'm pretty sure that after spending two days together solving the problems of the world, we're all best friends now. Melanie (aka: BigMama) was part of the study and you can check out her behind the scenes post over here on the LifeWay Womens All Access Blog.

Have a great weekend!