Required viewing for every cellphone-toting teen
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My heart was so heavy when I saw this interview this morning. This death could have been prevented had the parents of all parties involved just taken the time to talk to their teens about the dangers of sexting. It is our responsibility to ensure that we have drilled home the message to our teens regarding the long-term consequences that can occur from sending, receiving, or forwarding "sext" messages.
Nearly half of all teen boys have received such an image -- is your son one of them? Have you had the necessary conversations with your son? Has he perhaps, received an image and passed it onto someone else? Has your daughter sent an inappropriate message or picture? Have you had conversations with your daughter pertaining to the possibility of a ruined reputation and other long-term consequences associated with sexting? Or perhaps, she's the girl who is bad-mouthing another girl who sent such a picture or message to a boyfriend or guy at her school?
Remember, approximately 50% of parents who swear their children are virgins, are naively mistaken. Church kids are not exempt from sexting or bullying. Hardly a week goes by that I don't hear a story from a heart-broken parent who was completely blind-sided when they discovered their sweet "church kid" was having sex or involved in sexting. We all have a responsibility to show this interview to our teens, so we don't receive a wake-up call like the one above.
Let's not be naive. Our child is capable of playing any one of the parts in the sad tale above: The girlfriend who makes one regrettable mistake with far-reaching consequences in an attempt to impress her boyfriend. Or the boyfriend who after the break-up is hurt and wants to punish his ex or, for that matter, just show off the image to his friends. They could play the part of someone who receives the image and forwards it on to others. Or they could play the part of the bully whose cruel words leave a young soul wondering if death is the only way out. Please talk to your teens (and even tweens) about the dangers of sexting...
AS A SIDE NOTE: I will be doing a "Logged On and Tuned Out" event for parents at my home church (in Austin, Texas) on April 28th. More information can be found by clicking here.
19 comments:
Absolutely heartbreaking story.
Wow this story makes me sad and yet knowledgeable. Thank you for pointing this story out. I've posted something about it on my FB and I'm going to talk to my girls about this.
Vicky....THANK YOU for this heart wrenching, but compelling video.
As mom to two teens and Sunday School teacher to 20, I want to shake parents who think all texting is harmless or innocent. I WISH all parents would look at phones but they don't. And the ones who think THEIR kids would never do this, are usually the ones with the biggest problem, and not just in the texting dept. The parents WANT to believe so it's not hard when the kids reassure them all is well. Everybody can see BUT THEM. Believe me, I know.... SOOOO frustrating and frightening.
My husband and I verbally fought about this issue last year when a photo was taken and spread around the school in the Houston area. The school district stepped in and my husband was so mad saying that is wasn't the district's place to step in...I of course being an educator in high school knew that as professionals yes we do need to step in and take care of our children. He sees it as a government agency stepping into private lives and believes in less government, I however believe that we need to protect our children.
I saw the interview on the Today Show with the mother...tore my heart up.
Praying this information spreads to many!
If you hadn't seen this...
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20263578,00.html
First line is "cool mom alert!" Really? REALLY???
-dina
Wow. That is so sad. Thank you so much for your ministry in helping make parents knowledgeable in these subjects. So many people are so naive as to what they're children are doing. There are so many things to keep up with it can be overwhelming, but it is so necessary to have that open communication.
Be consistent with your kids. I don't have teenagers now, but have worked in youth group and have been a teacher and we as adults have such a great responsibility to love these kids enough to talk about the dangers that they could face on a daily basis. I am very thankful for how much you point out that Christians aren't immune to these things.
Thank you, again, for your tremendous ministry!
This morning on the Today show they showed this story again, this time I was outraged at the attitude that "kids will be kids" and this is the way that kids are sexually expressing themselves. Attorney Larry Walters made the comment, “Kids will be kids, but that doesn’t make them criminals. This problem needs to be solved as a social problem, not a criminal problem." Society has allowed this behavior and now this Mr. Walters thinks that society is going to change?
I saw something a little different here. Why did the mom allow the daughter to dictate how the situation was handled? The mom should have contacted the school, the police, etc., instead of continuing to let a naive child think she knew best how to handle the situation. And if the girl needed to be pulled out of the school and homeschooled, the mom should have made that decision too. Sometimes we have to be unpopular with our kids in order to protect them. It is a very tragic story from many angles.
I am a little concerned, Vicki, about your choice of words. I would not like to think of my daughter sending a naked photo of herself to her boyfriend as a "little mistake." Isn't this whole story proof that it was a major mistake--not that we can't come back from those.
Thank you for bringing this situation to so many people's attention. In my small 7,000-people town, we have already lost 3 high school cheerleaders because of nude pictures. And it doesn't end there. Teens are taking pictures of sex acts being performed and sending those, too.
Jenny, thanks for your comment. I agree that this does not constitute a "little mistake." I think I must have been typing fast and not carefully thinking through how it would be perceived. I tweaked it accordingly. Thanks for the catch!
The other, heartbreaking, thing is the fact that we want to hold the school system accountable. How is this their fault? When are parents responsible for their own children?
I really don't think parents know just how powerful a small, light weight, rectagular object can be. I fully understand the need to get in touch with your child, but there are ways around this. Ask for a phone with out a camera, find a way to disable photo texting, SOMETHING.
Just wanted to thank you for sharing things like this. Apparently my husband knew about it, but me in my little secluded world didn't. You certainly give me enough to talk to my kids about! I hate that we have to, but am certainly going to.
Thank you again for letting us all know about this. My heart broke in two when I saw the mother telling the story. I wish the beautiful girl could have grasped her true identify and worth in Christ. The world is mean and hard, but Christ is loving, forgiving and merciful. I have three older sons in their 20's and a daughter that is l2. I always shared your stories with them, and will share this one.
the story is really awful My heart breaks for that mother. We as parents have to close the door at step one LET YOUR DAUGHTERS KNOW HOW VALUABLE THEY ARE!!! TO GOD- TO YOU -TO THEMSELVES!!! They must know who they are so the thought of "sext"ing themselves to anyone gets dismissed the minute the enemy suggest such a thing.
I do not buy into the fact that 50% of "normal" teens do this - I relize it does and could happen but it should never be accepted as normal for anyone-ever.
Also to let parents know you can request via internet in your phone account that pictures not be able to be transmitted or received on your phone they can take and store them but not send/receive we did this to our daughter's phone when a similiar incident of a young girl was "going" around the school adn I didn't want my daughter to be sent any thing so I just removed the feature for now adn can add it on later if I wish- check with your phone company
This is a tragic story. This girl and her family live across the street from my girlfriend. She has watched this family to to cope with the loss of their daughter for months now. Horrible. I know I need to talk to my girls NOW!
As a mom and technology teacher at middle school, I am so thankful you brought this story to light. I do not get to see the Today Show on a regular basis. In my small town, we have unfortunately had many sexting incedents. I have posted information for parents on our district website to try and educate them and provide them with resources to help keep a handle on their teens cell phone use.
Very scary!! I have the video capabilities turned off on my kids phones for this very reason...
Children are very smart these days, we need all the tools we can get!
My heart breaks for this family.
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