My close encounter of the reptilian kind

This past weekend, I spent my Saturday morning in one of my favorite spots: Sitting on my porch swing on the front porch of the lake house, drinking my morning cup of coffee. Keith was on a law firm retreat and I had decided to take Hayden and three of his friends to the lake for a day of tubing. Of course, they were still passed out from pulling a near all-nighter playing video games, so I had the morning all to myself. The dogs were tethered on their leashes close by my side and on alert should a duck be so bold as to wander from the cove onto the front lawn. This has become a fairly common occurrence as the ducks have somehow figured out that the dogs are on a leash and have made it somewhat of a sport to waddle up within about 15 feet and taunt them mercilessly.

Which is exactly why I was not the least bit concerned when both dogs started going crazy berserk barking off to my side. Finally, I glanced over and to my absolute horror, saw the critter above out of the corner of my eye. And he was slithering right toward me under the porch swing! In this heart-stopping moment, I did exactly what any faithful blogger would do...I jumped up, took the dogs inside, and grabbed the camera to document this near-death experience. Have I ever mentioned before how much I hate snakes? I figured that having a picture would document to my family members how very brave I am in the face of sheer danger. Or at the very least, provide a string of evidence as to my actual cause of death.

After a lengthy photo shoot with the snake, I grabbed a stick (how I wish I could have photographed this moment) and tossed the reptile into my neighbor's side yard. Here's to hoping that my neighbors don't read my blog. Feeling very proud of myself for handling this problem without the aid of my son and his friends, I patiently awaited (inside the safety of the house) the moment of their awakening where I could prove my bravery and show them my serpent slideshow. Surely, this would qualify me for a top spot on the list of all-time, coolest moms.

My moment finally came and within minutes of them entering the kitchen in search of food, I began to excitedly describe in vivid detail of my unwelcome visitor that morning. I showed them the pictures above and they winced, drew in their breath, and said things like, "No way!" "Are you kidding me? It was crawling right toward you?" And then, "It's probably poisonous. It could have killed you." Humbly, I mumbled, "Yes, boys ... I know, I know," as I beamed inwardly with pride. And then it happened. The praise-fest came to a sudden and abrupt halt when I showed them the next two pictures:











I don't even need to tell you what their reaction was upon seeing the pictures above, but suffice it to say, that I am no longer on the list of all-time, coolest moms. And to top it off, when I got home, my son forced me to recount the whole tale and show the pictures to my husband. It provided the two of them with an unforgettable bonding moment of hysterical laughter, of course, at my expense. I have the strangest feeling that I will never live this one down. My only consolation would be to confirm that this little critter was indeed venomous, so if you happen to be an expert on poisonous snakes feel free to weigh in...and even lie to me, if need be.