A few timely reminders...God-style

Lately, I've found myself reflecting on my journey in ministry. I could never have predicted in a million years that the event that I organized for college women in 1998 would morph into the ministry I have today. Trust me, only God could have written this script. I'm just thankful that He has handed me one scene at a time or I can guarantee you, I would be curled up in a fetal position and sucking my thumb, had I been given even a tiny glimpse of the big picture.

But I have to confess that sometimes, I find myself wondering if I'm up for the part He's assigned me in this divinely inspired script. Okay, so yeah, a lot of the time. Half the time, I feel like I need to be reading slews of Christian books rather than writing them. Or sitting in the audience and soaking up some good teaching rather than stepping up on the platform to teach. And there are so many amazing, godly women I have met along the way who quite honestly, have more devoted prayer lives and spend far more time studying His Word than I do. That said, I never cease to be amazed that God allows me any part in His kingdom purposes. That He uses little ol' me in spite of...little ol' me.

When I think about my list of short-comings and my countless areas of struggle, it's not long before I find myself at the foot of His throne, reminding Him of just how messed up I am. (As if He doesn't know, right?!) And so, I had one of those days last week where I was overwhelmed with self-doubt over the assignment I've been given. I'm sure it was spurred on by the fact that I had just come off an especially powerful speaking season where I witnessed God do some unbelievable and amazing things in the lives of mothers and daughters. As a result, my long list of short-comings seemed to be etched in my mind. Highlighted in bright yellow. In caps and underlined. With footnotes. The contrast of what He did up next to who I am, left me scratching my head in total disbelief that He puts up with me in any capacity, whatsoever.

Needless to say, it didn't take long before I found myself back in that familiar place again: At the foot of His throne, reminding Him through tears, of how very unqualified I am for this part. I even went a step further this time and pulled a Moses on Him. Since I don't have a brother, Aaron, to pawn off for this role, I kindly suggested some names of darling, sweet, seemingly Polyanna-perfect Christian women He might wish to consider should He decide to recast my part. I'm sure He was grateful for my help. Oh, I know that in truth, none of us are qualified for any part He assigns. I know that apart from Him, we have nothing of worth to offer. I know all this in my head, but it just felt good to rehash my doubts and have myself a little impromptu pity party in His presence.

And then, the coolest thing happened. God, in His mercy, sent a rather creative RSVP if declining to my pity party invitation. My Assistant, Shawna, forwarded me the following email:

Hi Vicki,

I’m blessed to tell you this past Saturday morning a group of moms met at the church and we had a book club based on your book. Twenty five moms (including a single dad!) read the book and sixteen were able to join us for discussion....

...I just wanted to take a little of your time to say thank you for being obedient to God’s calling on your life. I’m sure it can’t be easy. Please know you have impacted us immensely. At the close of the morning we thanked God for you and prayed for you.

Rachel

"Take a little of my time?" Seriously? No, please, if you're going to pray for me, take up as much of my time as you want! God used Rachel's timely email to remind me that behind the scenes, I am being prayed for by others. He also used it to remind me that He is more concerned with my obedience than He is with my qualifications. Ministry is hard and it's not as glamorous as it may look from the outside. Rachel is in the ministry, so she knows that firsthand. Rachel, thank YOU, for being obedient to write your divinely inspired note of encouragement. I sure hope someone who has benefited from your obedience to say "yes" to the role God has assigned you, will take a minute to write you a note of thanks and encouragement and send it your way.

And thank you to Kelly for your very sweet note that came in the mail within days of Rachel's email (along with a darling shoe-themed notepad--love it!). I added your note to the pile in the picture above. Thank you also to Kristen, a waitress at California Pizza Kitchen who stopped by my table when I was having lunch with my daughter last week and introduced herself and further encouraged me in this call. Did you know that I was just wrapping up a full-out pity party, blow horns and confetti, included? I have no doubts whatsoever, that the timing of the above-mentioned words of encouragement were no coincidence. They've been on God's Daytimer for quite some time.

In fact, the whole experience inspired me yesterday to rifle through a big box of thank-you notes that I keep on a shelf in my office. I took some time to reflect on the amazing things God has done over the past decade, some of which had already begun to fade from my memory. More tears followed as God brought them back into sharp focus again. For the life of me, I don't get why He allows me any part at all in heralding the good news. Trust me, I bring no qualifications to the table ... not ten years ago, nor today. Poor, wretched sinner-saved-by-grace that I am, thank goodness, God didn't require me to get my act together before I answered His call to serve Him.

Is God perhaps, recruiting you for something? Maybe you've been wallowing in self-doubt and putting Him off. You know, until you feel a bit more qualified to serve Him? Good luck on that one! In fact, if you're brave, I dare you to comment below and share an assignment you feel God may be placing on your heart. Take it from this work-in-progress poster child, He's not looking for perfection or an impressive list of qualifications. He just wants you to say "yes" and He'll take care of the rest. I'm living proof of that promise. ☺

P.S. Minutes before posting this to my blog, I received this note on a speaker request form that came directly off my site. It was an answer to the question, "How did you hear about Vicki":

The very first time was when I was at the duck ponds. I was so upset that my daughter, then in third grade, had just been subjected to the words slut and whore, and a teacher reading Harry Potter to the class, all in the same week. I hated that my sweet daughter was getting this from the world. How could I equip her--how could I protect her? Just at the right time, a friend came up to me at the duck pond to chat. She said she was reading "Your Girl" and told me all about it. Well, the rest is history. I read the book. My daughter and I flew to Texas in 2006 to attend an event; then in 2007, I led a Your Girl Bible Study; in 2009, a group of us attended an event in Katy, Texas. My daughter and I have since started a girl's group, ETC (Empowered Through Christ) before school. Very small, but it's a beginning point.

Bravo, my friend! I'm not a bit surprised that God showed up at the duck ponds "just at the right time." And you know what? "The rest is history" not because of anything I've done, but because of your faithfulness to say "yes" to the role He has since assigned to YOU. Oh, and that "small" girl's group you started? I can't begin to imagine the fruit ten years from now. Go get 'em, Mom. You're my kinda gal.